Elia is at an amazingly cute age, where she is affectionate and loves to cuddle. She is also at an age where she takes things from Curie and will cry when she doesn’t get what she wants. She loves to watch “scary” movies because Curie finds them scary, she learns to read, because Curie does, she loves who her sister is and strives to be like her, but not like her. They both crave attention and at the same time love one another like friends, like family, like sisters.
When someone wrongs Elia, Curie is the first to react and protect Elia, when Elia craves not only Curie’s attention but her approval as well. When Curie plays with others or gives to others as we saw at Easter, Elia is jealous and wants her sister back. All of this is normal but we need to guide it toward strong sibling bonds rather than competition and rivalry.
Elia, though, is enormously cute right now. She would cup Erin’s face and kiss her on the forehead and cheeks and tell her, “I love you mommy.” She holds Albert’s head from behind and kisses his ears, “I love you daddy.” She has learned the secret “I love you handshake” that Curie has when we walk down the road. She does it back with her tiny hand to say “I love you” without saying a word – not that a word needs to be said, and the word always needs to be said. She is working on her diction and repeats the word “cool” to say it correctly. “too” she will say, “tool” she will say, “k-ka, k-ka, coo” when she gets to “cool” she beams broadly. Some days she cannot and tells us she can’t say it to which we say… and she says it with us… “Chens don’t give up.” And tries it again.
“Chens don’t give up,” it is those who persevere that succeed and we want our kids to thrive and persevere so we have said “Chens don’t give up,” as a clarion call for now. Later nuances will challenge the call and decisions will need to be made, but for now, “Chens don’t give up” gives them direction to try harder and keep working toward their goals.
One day a boy randomly pulled Elia’s hair at the mall, she fell off a bike at REI, and fell on her butt picking up a mint. She then fell over on a chair. She matter-of-factly looks us in the eye and says “I had a rough day.” That night she says, “I had a rough day! I have a boo-boo here and here and here.”
She tells us wise things, like when they were doing yoga/yogurt, doing the tree pose: “Daddy is a tree with no branches .. because he has no hair.” Or, on a very windy day: “if the wind gets to 100, it will defeat us.” Or, after hearing Gaston say that women and children are horrible: “Children are not horrible. They are cute. And me! I am cute.” She thinks hard and works through things; she tells us “I thought it in my brain.”
It is not just wise things either, there are touching things: “I love you Curie because you do nice things for me every day.” And smart inquisitive things: “Daddy, what are the red birds called? Cardinals? I saw two of them on the way home from my school.” And remarkably sophisticated things: “I miss all of my teachers. I misses Mr. Walle and Miss Tiana and Miss Lexi…I think all of my friends and teachers are missing me.” Elia knows which CDs are in a car and was surprised to learn that you can stream music: “Hey, Phineas and Ferb aren’t on here.”
Elia knows who she is and what she wants she has her life plan all thought out: [I want to] “Be Belle and live in my Castle with my Beast and a cat and my white carriage.” Later changed to dog so Daddy can visit.
At night, Elia negotiates her time awake but recently has been having nightmares about parents going away. We hold her as we did Curie and tell her she is “safe and loved,” until she goes back to sleep. She loves being with her Daddy at the moment and is finding her boundaries. She loves to have dance parties, dancing gracefully or jumping or shaking different body parts. She bounces like a pogo stick and alternates her arms up and down as the “Elia boogie” as Curie has named it. She is four, adorable and we are lucky to have to such wonderful daughters.