February 14, 2021
I didn’t have the courage to commit
I was too scared to take my own risk
I wasn’t brave enough to say it,
Back then girls had to give me their first kiss,
It’s not like there wasn’t attraction
With each one, we had chemistry
The sparks were like chain reactions
Like fireworks on ecstasy.
I think back to those early dates,
Awkward in my virginity
Setting random love ablaze
Without committing to any certainty
And there’d be tension between us
As we leaned into to say goodbye,
Like a hundred-thousand paper cuts
Those aches at the end of the night
We’d go to movies or we’d go dancing
We’d would go to dinner and I’d send flowers
With each date I’d romance them
Confusing each woman every hour
I think back to those early dates,
Spending love like there was no tomorrow
Maybe it was just hormonal craze,
Worried that being alone was pathetic sorrow.
Friendship with me was a seduction
I wrote poetry and letters like old school
Playing hard to get was this production
And I did nothing I was supposed to
And in the end I was lonely
For I didn’t know any better,
That inadvertently playing with people’s hearts
Was like writing false and empty love letters.
And so I think back to my early days,
Spending youth like there was no tomorrow,
I lived life in a befuddled daze
Not knowing life is time, just borrowed.