February 6, 2021
And as night falls, I begin to lose control,
Like clockwork, darkness consumes my soul,
Leaving nothing for a demon to take.
The monster within claws out of seeping sores,
The evil inside seeps out of my very pores,
Dissolving my resolve for goodness sake.
And out of an abundance of abject piety,
I pray that I don’t succumb to the anxiety,
For at three-in-the-morning, there is no one awake.
And it is easy to let it go to my head,
This feeling of helpless dread,
Wondering if panic will consume me before daybreak.
Some people find escape in a bottle,
Leaving their own lives hobbled,
In the morning with a cotton-mouth headache.
Still others watch shows, and movies streaming,
But on the inside they are screaming,
Because watching real life is often a mistake.
So I sit with my own addictions,
Dealing with these conflicts and recriminations,
And just eat three trays of Salisbury steak.