November 11, 2022
Lately I feel as though my heart runs on empty,
Leaking from my soul, its essence and its energy,
I can’t keep up with life as it threatens to overwhelm me.
It seems an illusion that life could be elementary,
It seems a mirage thinking of abundance and of plenty,
When the world and all of its strife simply makes a shell of me.
I beg for just a little release,
I beg that it could just cease,
Freedom from the cesspit and its endless smothering.
I beg of life a little relief,
I beg of God a little peace,
I beg for respite from the relentless suffering.
I am muddied and weakened, fallen on the wayside,
I am bloodied and beaten, sodden yet still clear-eyed,
Left crying in the rain, left defeated by the side of the road.
Too tired to protect myself and keep away the pain,
Too exhausted to cover my head or wipe away the rain,
Like dying and insane with knees left buckled and bowed.
I beg not for me,
I beg for my children you see,
I beg so that they can find joy in almost anything.
I hope for them, that is my plea,
I want hope for them, a life more carefree,
I want hope for them so that they will want for nothing.
Why is it not acceptable in today’s society,
To share with each other our deepest anxieties?
So that instead, we must fight alone with just our wits and will.
I cannot falter, no matter how much sleep does tempt me,
And I am not afraid and I do not expect life to exempt me,
But there is a hell for parents whose children have fallen ill.