Life Feels Hard Lately

April 24, 2021

Once life felt so much more certain,
Today I feel so much more the burden,
And can’t understand what or why.
When I was young I never prayed,
Yet lately I feel I have lost my way
And I worry so much more and cry.

“What if?” stopped being about adventure
Instead I stress about each conjecture
And I am afraid of what life will bring next.
With each new pain I feel my age,
My is mind unable to disengage,
And I live each day confused and perplexed.

Sure, I guess this is the circle of life,
Dealing with suffering, dealing with strife
But I can’t help but feel this is so senseless.
Now I can feel more anxiety as of late,
And worry each day about tempting fate
And end up living life rather defenseless.

“Are you there?” I scream into the void
“Do you care?” I ask, feeling annoyed
I can find no answers in this darkness
“I am alone” I find myself saying
“I am on my own,” I fear while I am praying,
Feeling life so cold and heartless.

I want this poem to end with “HA”
Something funny and perhaps a guffaw
But to be honest I am just feeling awful.
I know I am emotionally sick,
But in a way it is what makes me tick,
So I go through life mentally hobbled.

Lest you think I am more than drifting,
I suppose I should say something uplifting
I don’t want anyone to think this my last straw
But in this state I can’t think of anything funny
No clever rhyme or anything punny
So will literally finish this poem with the word “HA”