There was an article recently in the Washington Post on what to do when you think the world is a terrible place and number 2 is to watch kids play; when we are down, watching Curie and Elia play is an astonishing salve for the soul (and those of you without kids can come over and spend time with ours), and gives us some perspective.
Curie is growing up a lot, you don’t see it as much in the pictures as you do with Elia, but she is becoming more sophisticated and endearing. We saw “Inside Out” at a theater that serves food and shows older films. Elia fell asleep, but Curie, having seen it before and knowing it was Bella’s first time watching it (Bella is 13 mind you), held Bella’s hand at the scary parts and hugged bella when Bing Bong died. At the beginning of the movie, we were afraid it might be too much for Curie, so we asked her to take care of Bella, and even though it was Albert’s suggestion, she did, she took the responsibility to take care of her friend and held her when Bing Bong died. How amazing is that?
She loves taking care of Elia and one night asked Erin to tell her when Elia woke up crying because she wanted to take care of her little sister. She kept trying to stay awake waiting for Elia to cry but ended up falling asleep next to her. Another time, Albert was having a bad day and though we try not to burden our kids with issues they don’t need to carry, they can sense when something is wrong. Albert was sad, and Curie came up to him, spontaneously gave him a hug and asked why he was sad.
She is still very much the four-year old though, learning to somersault, jumping down three stairs at a time, pretending she is a frog and shouting “ribbit!” The frog is particularly cute because she sets up with her hands in front of her before making her leap each time.
At Thanksgiving, she worked very hard to keep up with her older cousin’s play, and they were great for the most part in including her. With their help, she won at bingo, played Tenzi, and judged the drawing contest with her Ah-gong. When the family went out for a walk and run, we split up onto two groups, with us being the walking group and Bernard and Agnes and the older kids being the running group. Somehow as we got ready, Curie was playing and ended up running with the running group. Agnes said that when they started Curie bolted at full tilt for two blocks, making everyone take her pace, before she ran out of steam. She took charge of the Frisbee and threw it quite a bit, and on the playground she did not hold back playing. When the kids did not put her name on the list for the ping-pong tournament, she went to Erin sad, but when Erin put her down as the special helper she was elated, and told everyone.
At the Thanksgiving meals, beautifully hosted by Ed, Suephy, Jared, and Dylan, she discovered that she loved ham and baked potatoes in addition to turkey and steak, and of course pumpkin pie. She had learned that she loved turkey when she and Albert spent Thanksgiving lunch at her school together. One of the best parts of Thanksgiving for Albert’s mom was to spend time teaching Curie to draw. Curie was patient and responsive and they learned to draw rainbows together. Albert’s mom was most impressed that Curie not only knew her colors, but in what order they went on the rainbow.
Curie still gets frustrated and whines as a four year-old might, but she is learning, becoming more patient, and discovering she can do new things. She is proud that she can do Velcro for instance, something that we thought she knew, but she made it a point to show us. She and Erin learn a new word each night to write and is delighted when we show how proud we are of her. Someone on a blog on Facebook wrote that children just want to see that you are delighted to see them, and that is true. She wants Julie to babysit, she saw Tangled, and Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo. Oh, and she saw Frosty the snowman at Thanksgiving.
And then, she is funny in other ways. We have this restaurant we like called Pho Factory near us which opened when Curie was born. Curie loves the owner and always wants to go to “Andy’s restaurant,” which refers to Andy’s other restaurant Eden Kitchen instead of Pho Factory because there is a waiter who loves Curie, but talked too much to her and made her uncomfortable. Well that waiter is no longer at the restaurant and though we told Curie this, she still refused to go. Then one day when we were deciding where to go, Curie suggested Pho Factory because she knew it was Andy’s restaurant and close. She was nervous about going but told us she wanted to go anyway’ that was particularly sophisticated to us.
Maybe its because it was just Thanksgiving or perhaps it is because of the challenges of the year, or simply its the holiday blues (or perhaps it is because Susan Sarandon said there was going to be a segment on it on NPR through PRI), but the idea of gratitude has really hit home as of late. There is no mistake that life can be seen as finding our way through suffering but the concept of gratitude really drives home the idea of joy and peace. In our times of angst, we often think that if only we had “x” or “y” then we would be cured or saved, when in reality it takes a fundamental change in your heart to effect that change. Each and everyone of us has a different support structure that could be pets, or friends, or faith, or community, for some of us with kids, it is parenting and the idea of parenting – and as a result the appreciation of having been parented. Before this becomes too preachy, suffice to say that our lives have been greatly enriched by Curie and Elia, and it is remembering all these little things that happen that drive these writings and how long they have become. Thanks for reading.