When your kids are the most important thing in the world, it is easy to lose our identity and only be the parents of your kids. At the same time, in times of trouble sometimes your kids are the only thing that get you through. At this age Curie is beyond some of the more simple milestones, but well into the more sophisticated realm of understanding and humor.
Curie loves to frame her caring and some of her self-worth in her connection to Elia. She is proud of when Elia can do something, “Mommy, its her first word (when it well is not)!” She feels loved when Elia holds her hand “Mommy, look, Elia is holding my hand!” And she cries when Elia is too busy to hug her. As we teach the kids about being beautiful from within, we shouldn’t be surprised when they do act in amazing ways, but we are.
Julie and Steve finally got engaged, and Erin mentioned that we would have to buy an engagement gift for them, at some point. Later in the day, when we were at the mall to have lunch, Curie insisted on going for a walk with Albert. Once away from the restaurant, Curie said to Albert, “we need to buy a present.” “For whom?” Albert asked. “For Julie and Steve!” And she did, she picked out a black insulated water bottle for Steve and a matching red water bottle for Julie, and gave it to Julie to open – note that she did want to see Julie open it, even before Steve was there.
Then Albert gave Curie money for her to buy her own prizes for herself and Elia at the toy store. Once there, she made it a point to buy everyone a present, because, in her words, “it wouldn’t be fair” if only Julie and Steve got gifts.
In recent days, as she gets tired and frustrated, she runs to the landing on the stairs to the basement and sits there to be by herself and cry for a while. Albert often sits with her and holds her until she calms down. It is a learning time for her as she learns to adjust to learning boundaries and dealing with her emotions. The reality is that she needs to get more sleep, but she doesn’t want to miss the fun.
She loves running “super-fast” and asks you to watch her. One of their favorite past times is when Curie and Elia “run around the kitchen” which entails running through the kitchen, through the dining room, and back around to the kitchen. They take off their socks to make sure they don’t slip and run pell mell through the house.
She is experimenting with mock surprise recently as well. She loves to cock her head and open her eyes and mouth wide and say “bah?” As if surprised for the first time at something. She will also say things like “what? I like” this or that. We are learning to do things other than watch TV and buy toys and have gone so far as to buy Plasticine clay to make our own figures. We made a family with a silicone clay mold, and she loved it. We made a little frog and worm after and Elia appropriated them and took them to school in plastic eggs. Since then we have made our own chocolates in the molds and made figures two more times, making them to look like superheroes.
Curie loves superheroes and loved to watch the Metroman parts of Megamind. She has also been watching the Incredibles and loves Mr. Incredible and Violet. When we went to sign her up for her martial arts class for after school, she watched the ongoing martial arts class in rapture.
In the last few days, she has wanted to spend time with Albert and Erin at different times, and has wanted to garden as one of the play dates. She remembers the times with Albert when he used to stay up with her to watch things, and when we were watching Annie with Elia, Curie spoke up to say that she used to spend time watching it with Albert.
Curie has started changing her tastes, re-engaged in water play, found new things smelly and gross, liked new foods, and stopped liking others. Grape flavored fluoride is okay now, and mint is not. She likes her noodles with the sauce now, but no longer likes green beans. She loves mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC and will drink the gravy, but does not like butter. She knows that she shouldn’t eat sugar, but loves that we give her sugarless treats.
Life is challenging and meant to be, and while having kids makes the stakes higher, they also give us reason to exist and persevere. As Curie, and Elia, grow, the interactions become more complex as they develop their personalities and identities. It is a challenge to understand that they must grow out of us, and a fleeting, aching, parental caring that they still love you unconditionally. It is almost not enough to to use the word “love” to talk about our kids, and at the same time the word “love” is impossibly big, know what we mean?