Family time with Elia
A quick picture before we post Elia’s collage. Curie had her picture on my shoulder, Elia is on my head.
Curie October 2015
With Halloween, our trip to California, and our anniversary, we have not had the chance to post Curie’s monthly collage so, seven days late, here we are.
If you recall, for her birthday, Curie got an Elsa nightgown which was a capitulation on Albert’s part. We told her she could wear it for Halloween as well. In the meantime, Curie saw Brave, Wall-E, Finding Nemo, and Monsters, Inc, (of the movies, only Monsters, Inc was too scary for her), and went to the doctor – who always impresses Curie. So for Halloween, she wanted to be Dr. Elsa Merida, this we have mentioned before in the Halloween entry. When we asked her what Elia should be she at first said “Anna,” but then changed her mind and wanted Elia to be just like her complete with her own bow and stethoscope, which we thought was pretty considerate. The result was that Elia went as Curie for Halloween.
You may also recall that Albert bought Erin’s bow long before he ever met her, and before we had kids, we used to shoot almost every weekend. We haven’t been since having Curie, but we have always intended on going back as evidenced by Albert buying a bow for Curie before she was born. While we were in California for Erin’s work and visiting relatives, Curie found a toy bow at Daiso, a Japanese dollar store ($1.50) which she wanted. It was in someone else’s basket that looked abandoned on the floor, so we waited for a while and when no one came to claim it Albert took it and bought it for her. She loves to shoot. She shot at the park, in the hotel room and posed for the infamous “Merida and Horse” picture. “Brave” definitely has made an influence, and she was very interested when we told her about her real bow that she could get when she turned 5.
Also for Halloween, we went as Acapella Mimes to the Hoagland party, where you can see in the photos from that party that Curie was just as game to pose as a mime as any of us. For trick-or-treating, we went with Natalie and her parents around our neighborhood which was adorable to watch the two together. In addition to Halloween and California, we went to the Great Country Farm, where Curie demonstrated a great affinity for the animals, saying they were her favorite thing even more than the jumping pillow, though she does call them “aminals.” It is funny because Elia is particularly afraid of actual animals at this point. It was also amazing to watch Curie go from very tentative to getting big air on the jumping pillow. In California, we went to the Exploratorium, which is amazing if you haven’t been. Albert’s family used to go to the older location a lot as kids. Curie’s favorite exhibit was the animation station where she spent the most time at any one exhibit.
Activities aside, she has really started to play with Elia, jumping into the playpen from the bed yelling “cannonball! (and Elia copying her)” She and Elia like to sit on top of the back of the couch and jump down together. When Elia gets upset, Curie has taken on the role of making the “shh, shh, shh” noise to calm her down and you know, it really works. They play trains together, Legos, and dance together. She thinks it is great that Elia is starting to talk more and likes to play a game in the car to see how many words we can make Elia say. Its funny we thought it was important for Curie to have a sibling, and as they start to be best friends for one another, it warms the heart to think that they will have each other even after we are gone (okay, really it is Albert who thinks like that).
As Curie grows, she has become more complex and engaging. In California she showed the Chen competitiveness, and made it a point to eat three servings of macaroni and cheese to prove she could eat more than her cousin Eleanor. At school, she came home once and said that she got married to a lot of people (boys and girls), and rumor has it that she has been holding a little boy’s hand and having him get her coat. She loves saying “boo!” to Albert when she gets home from school to startle him.
Curie loves to help cook and is upset if there is nothing for her to do. She wants to have a grown-up look after her which is code for “spend time with me.” She wants us to play with her, and watch with her, and take care of her. She is perfectly capable of going to the potty by herself, but insists on someone helping her. She loves when we do things as a family, or feeling special with Erin or Albert separately – “Mommy and me are going to do that, right?” She is still learning what beautiful and pretty means (she told her cousins that she can get an Elsa doll if she smiles more and does good things – no, she has not forgotten), but she acts beautiful all the time holding the door, waiting for everyone to come to the table to eat, wanting to say grace together, watching out for her sister, and so many more things. And she continues to make us laugh aloud with her antics: earlier this month, when she had to go brush her teeth, she turned mid-way to the bathroom, looked back at us with one index finger raised and said “I’ll be back in a jiffy!” What four year old says thing like that? Adorable.
The Photographer’s Eye
Some of you may remember or have been a part of a photo project with me at different times where we pick a topic and everyone submits their interpretation of that topic. In the early days, we would literally go out with cameras together and take pictures, have the film developed and compare what we took. This got easier with digital of course. Most recently at Albert’s last place of work, he did this to fill a space which came to be known as Gallery Hall where two topics were displayed, orange, and water. where there were up to thirty entries in water.
Recently Canon did a little experiment by having a man photographed by 6 photographers but before they took pictures of him they told them that he was a different background which resulted in very different pictures by the intent and interpretation.
Albert shared this on Facebook and asked if anyone would be interested in participating in a topical photography project/social experiment. So he made a group, The Photographer’s Eye, and invited a handful of people who volunteered or liked the idea.
In the first day we simply asked nuts and bolts questions like should the group be by invite only, who can see it, and what should the first topic be. Interestingly enough there were more votes that did not care who could see it or participate, and two suggestions for topics, Fall Leaves and Coffee drinks. Eager to start, we chose Fall Leaves, and in the first couple of hours we got 10 entries from 6 participants with images ranging from the architectural to a beautiful picture of a boy and a dog. Also, tellingly, of the 57 people invited to the project we had thirty people “accept” by looking at the group and reading posts in the first day. Members were asked to invite anyone they wanted and a few people have already done so, and a couple of people have posted that they were honored to be invited to the project. We think that the fact that the group says “secret group” has something to do with people feeling like they are a part of something.
In any case, please do check it out or ask us for an invitation on Facebook.
Happy Anniversary 2015
Halloween 2015
This year we went trick-or-treating with Curie’s best friend Natalie and her parents Brian and Amber. Natalie went as a purple butterfly which people thought was a fairy costume. Curie went as Dr. Elsa Merida with a stethoscope and bow, but for trick-or-treating, she didn’t bring out the stethoscope or bow. Elia went as Curie, who went as Dr. Elsa Merida. 🙂
Tiger Dad
We were in California on a business trip for Erin recently and had the chance to visit Albert’s family. While staying with Bernard and Agnes, we were telling them how Curie has taken to the bow and arrow and that Albert has had a bow for her since before she was born (Albert had one for Erin before he ever met her too). This caused them to tell us a funny story about one of their friend’s impressions of Albert when they were kids. Bear in mind that Albert and this friend haven’t seen each other in 20 years so it is even more funny (Bernard and Agnes thought the friend wouldn’t mind if we posted this).
Background: so Albert was a meaner and more annoying big brother in high school than he remembers, exemplified by the time that Albert apparently made Bernard and his friends climb the community tennis court fence to get out (to be fair, they often did not have the key and would climb the fence as a matter of course, but according to Bernard, Albert had the key that day and forced them to climb the fence instead of letting them out).
Anyway, so Bernard and Agnes were talking to this friend (who was one of the friends who had to climb out of the tennis court)about parenting. This friend also has two daughters. They were talking about tiger moms and somehow Albert came up in conversation. The friend claimed that Albert would be a “tiger dad,” When Bernard and Agnes said “really?” He replied, “oh no, Albert is definitely a tiger dad, only he is training his kids to be be Batman.
When you don’t think you make a difference in the world, it turns out you do. And all of us are driven by our ups and downs and our personal insecurities whether it is what compels us to be mean as older brothers when we are young or just getting through the day to day, but even when we do, we are making an impression, and apparently Albert left a big one. Oh and so you know, hearing this story made Albert’s day.
Merida
Somehow we have not recaptured the dynamics of the movie.
Hoagland Halloween Party 2015
If you have come to this page by way of QR code at the party, go to this link to go directly to the Hoagland Party album. Pictures of children and families start on page 3 or 4. You are also welcome to read the history of our elaborate costumes below or peruse our site.
We’ve been going to the Hoagland Halloween Party ever since we moved down to the DC area in 2007. It is Bella’s birthday party and the first one she had turned four, the same age Curie is this year. This collage is a little history of our costumes over the years, plus the marketing material for this year’s costume.
The first few years we just dressed in what was available, black Matrix in 2007, a cheap prom dress for the Princess and the Paparazzi in 2008, and Vampire Hunters in 2009, which was basically just black clothes again with swords.
In 2010, the Hoaglands told us they were dressing up as 50s people, Bella as Marilyn Monroe, Quin as Elvis and Candace and David as preppies. In our first year of themed costumes, we surprised them as greasers with switch-blade combs and leather jackets. In 2011, Curie had just been born and while Albert wanted to dress her up as a maggot (white hat and blanket- he has a picture) Erin was not as sanguine about the idea. So we found this great chili pepper outfit and decided to come as the Red Hot Chili Peppers with band shirts and red pepper hats. Something easy to move around in so we could take care of Curie.
In 2012, we had taken Curie to London and Paris and had arrived back the day before the party. We had no idea what to be. We were in Home Depot the day of the party and decided to buy hard hats and high-visibility vests, caution tape, and clip boards to be safety inspectors. This was right after Hurricane Irene, and Sandy, so it was appropriate. We ran around to toy stores to find a hat for Curie, and Albert made Curie a high-visibility vest out of yellow duct tape on the way to the party. Curie’s hat was yellow so we made her the boss. Erin said she had never had a hat that fit so well. This was also the first time that Steve and Julie were around for the party having just moved down. This was our first meta costume and as we arrived, David had the presence of mind to say “oh no! the haunted house safety inspectors are here, we’ll have to shut down the haunted house!” All the kids bought it and began to be upset. Curie had a great time handing out our tickets for infractions. We wrote tickets for inappropriate weapon storage, Julie wrote one for inappropriate time travel on a broken clock. We had a great time, it was such a great costume for such short notice.
The next year in 2013, we decided to do another themed costume and wanted to be meta again, so we arrived in security shirts for the event. People actually commented that the party had gotten so big that they had to hire security. The funniest part was that Erin was 8 months pregnant and Curie was dressed in the same outfit. People asked what company we worked for. Albert made us badges and 30-50 VIP “back stage badges.” We also bought a velvet rope to work the door. This is all without letting the Hoaglands know what we were doing, so a velvet rope showed up in front of their haunted house, and Curie was passing out VIP badges. Soon people were saying that you needed a badge to enter the haunted house, and older kids were giving theirs to younger kids. It was really funny.
For 2014 we didn’t know what we could do to top the Security theme. It had to be meta, and we all had to be in the same costume. Ironically it would be better than anything we could hope for. We arrived at the Hoaglands as their caterers (though we did not make the food, we just took credit for it). Concept Catering, a mediocre catering company with slogans like “trying our best not to ruin your party,” and “when you can’t afford the best.” Having been to the party every year, we knew the menu so we made place cards for all the food like: “Vegetarian meatballs made with the best meat,” or “fingernail cookies, one of them is real.” That one was funny because at the end of the party there was one left over. We made flyers with bad Yelp reviews that highlighted chosen words to look like we had good reviews. People really thought we were the caterers. Albert stayed in character passing food for an hour. Steve was eating the last piece of pie and a person asked when new pie would come out. Steve just shrugged and irritated the person. It was Elia’s first party, and she was dressed up as the head chef. Curie LOVED her costume and really passed out food, where Candace remarked that she normally doesn’t get to eat but Curie was feeding her. We passed out business cards with a Russian web address and put up flyers that referenced the “Hoagland Holiday Party, it is even bigger,” there is no such party, but people kept asking Bella about it and a woman even showed up on the date we put on the flyer a few months later. We also learned that caterers are not treated very well by guests.
This year we really felt like we couldn’t top the catering and have put together a meta costume as entertainment for the party. We were going to be an acapella group or show choir as entertainment that would not actually perform. We were going to have set lists, a raffle to raise money for our costumes for national and so on. We needed to make marketing materials, and because Julie was sick and all the costume parts were not available yet, Albert made an intentionally bad-Photoshop group picture for our poster and handbill/postcards. While we were planning Erin came up with an idea that made it funny enough for us to feel like it was worthy of a follow up to Concept Catering. We would be the nation’s first and only mime acapella group. As of this writing we have not actually been to the party yet, but we are going in tuxedo t-shirts, white gloves, and berets. We plan to poster and flyer their party with our marketing materials passing out the postcards. Read our poster for our gags, after the party we will update this post for how it went.
Elia October 2015
By the time Curie was 22 months, we were already pregnant with Elia. There is not another bun in the oven and that does make us a little sad. It is with that eye that we watch Elia’s growth with that much more sense of holding on.
They say that when kids hit 50 words, their speech explodes. Elia is just at the cusp of this and will repeat almost any word you say to her almost as if she is trying it out. And every new word she learns is an achievement that she indoctrinates with hand clapping and repetition. Just the other day she learned “yellow,” not “lellow” like Curie says, but fully articulated yellow and could identify it as a color. Her face completely lit up and when she knew she had it right and immediately identified a yellow car parked near by. We gave a few more colors, “blue” and “purple,” but these she just repeated without the same depth of understanding.
Curie was speaking at this point, so when we interact with Elia, it is different; there is an amazing and heartwarming mix of non-verbal and verbal communication, somehow more intimate, that makes Elia even more remarkable and cute.
She loves to identify “Jie-jie,” “Mama,” and “Dada,” and when you ask her she will point to them and will point to herself when you ask her to identify “Elia.” Her favorite word is still “My! My!”meaning mine and repeated like the seagulls in Finding Nemo. “Thu-thu,” thank you, “bubbo,” bubble, “mo,” more, “mo-mo” milk. Says “neigh” for horses, “mao” for cats, and “cack” for what ducks say.
Elia knows when we give Curie something first and we have to work on not making her feel like a second class citizen. When we give Curie an iPad, Elia will chime up and say “mine? Mine?” until we give her her own. She asks for “wuff-wuff,” the Disney short Feast, or “Ah-ah,” for Anna or Elsa for Frozen, and asks for “Moue” (the same way Curie used to say it) the most, Mickey Mouse (she can do the little games in the Mickey Mouse Road Rally game). Her favorite show though is Harry the Bunny, which is a little sensory show a couple minutes long that ends with “bye-bye Harry the Bunny, bye-bye funny bunnies,” where Harry waves. Elia waves with him and will run to the TV to point at the icon to play him. Her other favorite show is Play with Me Sesame, which she calls “E-mo,” for Elmo. She will follow Ernie’s instructions looking up and down or raising her thumbs, and she loves clapping along with Grover.
Elia’s “yesh” for yes, has transformed into a “yawp” for yup recently which is accompanied with her single head nod. She understands so much more than before, she loves to clean and will take your plate away from you to put in the sink even if you are not done eating yet. If you tell her to throw something away, she will put it in the garbage. Her OCD makes her ask for napkins every few minutes to clean her hands as she eats, but it does not compel her to use her fork or spoon necessarily. When Erin went on a trip she cried inconsolably, but when we told her “Mama is on a trip,” and she replied “ohh!” as if it was a new thing to comprehend. She understands talking on the phone now instead of someone in or behind the phone.
Elia continues to be fearless, standing on chairs and lowering herself off of high places. She loves to ride on our backs and shoulders, Mama, Papa, and Curie too (well not on Curie’s shoulders). She is fearless on even the tallest slides, and wants to go wherever Curie goes. She IS afraid of dogs though, even though at the same time she will go out of her way to see them. She has been walking into doors and falling a lot recently. She fell off the bed, off a slide, off a chair, the little mark on her forehead is not a shadow, but a bruise that seems to be ever-present.
We waited until the day Curie turned three to give her a hotdog and popcorn, but Elia has already hijacked Curie’s hotdog at 21 months and will eat the entire thing, when Curie will only eat half. She wants her own things now and wants parity if Curie gets something. This has meant that she has claimed the little bicycle in the living room as hers and Curie’s Minnie Mouse jacket as well. At Great Country Farms, when we bought animal food in little sealed cups, Elia needed to have her own which she held like a prized possession. While Curie fed the animals with her feed, Elia clutched the cup in the crook of her elbow and would not give it up. She did not end up using all of her feed.
The best thing recently is when she sings to herself when she doesn’t know anyone is listening. Her favorite song is a rendition of Let it Go that you can just make out. She raises her hand to one side and tries to twirl when she sings, if you catch her she will grin and continue, but when she doesn’t know you are looking, it is positively adorable. Parenting is stressful and you forget to take care of each other as spouses, if you are not careful, you take each other for granted at best and hurt each other at worst. It is balanced by the beauty and joy of children, and we are careful to make choices that protect the family the most. We must practice what we preach – when we tell Curie that beauty comes from within, sometimes that means sacrificing personal ambition and success for the sake of family, and that doing the right thing makes us beautiful right?