Elia January 2016

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Elia turns two; she’s 22 pounds, two feet eight inches tall, proud, and opinionated. The transition from bundle of joy to dynamite in a small package has been no more apparent than in her communication and her desire to be represented in every facet, whether it is taking a turn at whatever Curie is doing (regardless if she is too small) to wanting to eat what everyone else is having. If she can’t have it she will let you know with everything from “pease?” to her angry dance which can only be described as the “Jack Black dance” where she rocks her whole body from side to side as she stamps her feet. Continue reading “Elia January 2016”

Curie December 2015

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The night before Christmas, because Santa is over-busy getting presents to the kids who truly need it, Curie spent an hour helping him (no this is not going to rhyme), like all families should help him, by filling up the stockings so that Santa wouldn’t have to do it. She took her responsibility very seriously and put fruit, cookies, and snacks into each person’s stocking, taking the time to be thoughtful listening to us about who liked which kind of snack: “Poppop loves Oreos,” so she put two packs into his stocking and so on.

Christmas morning, she woke up at 7:30 and asked to be carried to the basement to see if Santa had come. Erin made sure not to put out any presents until the morning so that it would be magical. Because Albert’s family had never really done the “big” Christmas, he didn’t really understand the importance of the big reveal until he saw the look on Curie’s face with all the wonder and magic that you presume in a Christmas television special. Elia’s own wonderment fed off of Curie’s excitement. The magic of the moment (intentionally not captured on film so that we could experience our children’s reaction without having to see it through a view finder) was worth the trouble. And what Albert realized was that magic and the actual opening of the gifts were more important to Curie than any toy that she actually received.

This month, was all about the anticipation of Christmas for Curie, learning to sing “Rudolph,” then watching it, pointing out trees decorated with lights, and insisting on colored lights (for the first time for us) because she didn’t like white lights for decorations. Curie took it upon herself to turn on and off the Christmas tree lights every day as her responsibility.

On Elia’s birthday, Curie was so excited for her, however she did feel a little jealous of the attention and wanted to open a few presents of her own. Fortunately we did get her a little present of her own, and Elia was generous in letting Curie “help” her open her presents.

One of Curie’s “best friends in the whole wide world,” Bella turned 13 this year and babysat (with her parents) Curie and Elia this month giving us one of the first date nights since Elia was born to see Spectre in the theater. It was weird, but they had a great time. Bella also babysat the kids to let us see Star Wars on opening weekend (Erin is obsessed with Rey, BTW). In any case, on Christmas Eve, we saw it again at the Udvar Hazy Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in IMAX 3D on the 6 story screen with Erin’s family. We did it in two shifts so that we took care of the kids. While there, Curie was amazed by the space shuttle Discovery, reportedly commenting on how big the wings were. She even corrected her aunt Julie’s choice of “space man” with “astronaut.” After the movie, we went to the gift shop and Curie gravitated toward a plastic model of the Discovery. She said to Albert, “this is so cool,” and though she played around with many toys, she kept coming back to the model; four times. So we bought it for her. When your daughter expresses an interest in space and math, you just buy it right?

At home we ended up watching episodes 4, 5, and 6 (boycotting Episode 1 and subsequently its brethren after a few minutes of watching it). While we were watching them, we were eating snacks and Curie was eating the Cheez-Its. Erin’s mother loves Cheez-Its and asks us not to buy them because she will eat a whole box in one sitting. So Erin’s mother decides that she wants some Cheez-Its, and asks Curie for the box. Curie, who had stopped eating them at that point looks around the room. We thought she was looking for the box. Instead she says, in perfect timing, “where is my light saber?” And proceeds to find it, open it and protect the box from Erin’s mother. Best line of the night for us.

Other things in passing: we discovered the reason that Curie doesn’t like grape flavored candy even though Curie’s favorite color is purple. She was able to tell us that it was because it tastes like the medicine we give her when she has fevers, which is grape-flavored. This is remarkable because you usually are too young to remember the association and only know that you don’t like it, much less articulate it. Another thing is that she has begun telling Albert that his belly looks like he is having a baby, and tells him he should exercise (BTW “daddy’s big tummy” is a phrase from Peppa Pig used as a secret password in an episode and now used instead of “please” when you say “what do you say?” When she asks for something). Not only that, she then says, “you should play racquetball with Uncle David,” matter-of-factly. And yes Albert could stand to lose a few pounds.

The remarkable part, outside of outing Albert’s lack of fitness, is that the following morning when Curie had woken half-asleep and crying that Albert was able to recount her conversation with him about his big tummy and in a rational discussion, was able to instantly calm down to where she told explained to Erin that Albert needed to go play racquetball to exercise because he looked like he was having a baby instead of what you might expect: not remembering the conversation at all, being emotional and wailing that Daddy shouldn’t go. She is at an age where she throws micro tantrums and whines when she wants something, but there is also a very rational young lady in there that is learning and testing and discovering. We will only know that we did it right when we are 80 (okay Erin will be 80, Albert may never know) but just that glimpse of her rational self makes us hopeful.

BTW there are two versions of the collage for December. One used in the grandparents’ photobooks because they were made early in the month and this one.

Oh, and the head tilt is one of the poses that she learned from the photographer at school after which she showed Erin how to pose for pictures.

NICU Gratitude

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Both our daughters were NICU alums (4 days and 18 days) and each year in gratitude for the Labor and Delivery Nurses, the NICU and our OB/GYN group, we deliver baskets and treats to Virginia Hospital Center and Erin’s doctor.
 
Anyone who has been through a similar experience knows the care and caring pre-delivery, during delivery, and post-delivery can be quite remarkable. You can have both good and bad care in the same practice. We had a challenging experience for Erin after Elia that was immediately followed by an amazing one (thank you Emma).
 
This year we did not meet anyone who remembered us, some were off-shift, and others had moved, but just the same we felt the gratitude toward the hospital and the staff and felt a strong sense of nostalgia walking the halls. We took this week’s family picture in the halls of VCU as a selfie in the security mirror.

Elia Turns 2

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On December 19th, two years ago, Erin gave me the best gift a anyone could get, a wonderful daughter, a best friend for Curie, and a beautiful little girl. Happy Birthday Elia.

Erin’s Holiday Party 2015

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There was a fantastic caricature artist by the name of Mike Jenkins who used to be a political cartoonist for a local paper for 20 years here at Erin’s holiday party. He also draws a comic on his daughter’s lunch bag every day and those bags have been shown in an exhibit. In any case, we have never had our caricatures done and it was a honor to have them drawn by him. His work has been praised by Bill Waterson himself. Curie was the last to be drawn and wouldn’t smile. 🙂

http://www.splatospheric.com/when-a-lunchbag-becomes-a-work-of-art-an-interview-with-mike-jenkins/

http://www.capitalartworks.com/

 

Holiday Card 2015

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Erin said it might not be clear, but the pictures in black and white on either side of us are pictures one year apart to see how much they have changed. The pictures on the front of the card correspond to each month of the year, but I guess that was pretty obvious. OH, and Curie’s signature this year is her actual signature. 🙂

Elia December 2015

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So Elia kind of exploded this month, she went from single word diction to two word sentences; Elia started to string words together on December 4th: “Dada, up,” “hi Da,” “off mine,” “bye Da.” Then on December 7th, started chaining three words: “mine, shoes, on.”

She now calls herself “Yeh-yeh” for Elia, and will call herself “me” on occasion – a sophisticated turn of events. Another sophisticated change: she asked “why” for the first time when I said we needed to change a light bulb. At the beginning of the month, all colors were “yellow,” but now she says “blue,” and “purple” (and “yellow” has become “wellow”). She loves to pull a pillow up onto her chest and say “night!” As if it is a blanket. And over Thanksgiving, she learned to count with her Ah-ma, Albert’s mother; if you say “one,”  she’ll say “tu!” Then on December 8th she said three, though it sounded more like “door,” but it follows one and two each time.

And the vocabulary keeps coming. With Curie we wrote down every word, but Elia keeps saying new things that we can’t keep up. One of the car games we play to limit screen time is to see what word Elia will say if you say it (an Elia claps for herself after every word). Curie loves it, and so Elia will repeat many words that she is just learning, but she is definitely making the association.She picked up a noodle and said “noodo,” and now when we ask her what she wants to eat, she says “noodo,” or “rice.” When she is hungry she says “eat,” when she wants to take a bath she says “bath” and starts to take off her clothes. She holds the camera and says “cheese,” and sits on her bike and says “bike.” In the morning if you say “good morning,” she will say “morning.”

She loves buses, and will say “bus” when a bus, van, or train comes by, and then follow it with “mine,” meaning that she loves them we think, or she actually believes they are hers. When she sees a train, she pumps one fist in the air and yells “tu-tu!” At school, she apparently says “not nice,” when something happens that is not in her favor. We hadn’t heard it at home, so it goes to show that there are things that she doesn’t like at school and is expressing herself – in fact the teacher said that she says it all the time. Now, Julie says that Elia is ahead of the other kids at school, and Elia does sit more quietly and behave; Erin saw this at the Thanksgiving lunch where Elia was the only one not knocking over her milk and plate.

Our favorite game is in the car recently. Albert will say “are we there yet?” And Curie and Elia will yell “No!” Every time. Even when we are not in the car, if you ask “are we there yet?” They will yell “no!” It makes for great pictures. If you receive our Holiday Card, that is how we got her to yell in Santa hat picture. She talks on the phone and calls Poppop, Erin’s dad by finding his picture on the phone and pushing it. She will say “hi papa,” answer yes and no questions, then say “bye, papa.” Erin’s dad has been a trooper taking the calls.

And it is not just her vocal development. She loves to dance, copies somersaulting from Curie, and loves to clean up after everyone after dinner, and wants Albert to toss her in the air and help her do flips.  She started scooping rice with her chopsticks at HotSPot, didn’t need to nurse on the plane, and loves to peel oranges (clementines). She is also not as afraid of “Speck,” the Hoaglands’ great dane as much as she used to be. She is more opinionated and will want to choose her food and will say “no,” when you suggest something she doesn’t want to do. Oh and she wants to wipe her own bum too.

Last month we reported that Elia’s favorite film was “Feast.” the other day Elia put took her bowl from the table and wanted to eat on the floor like the Winston in the movie. She pretends to be a dog and Curie pretends to be a cat.

Elia is the youngest cousin on Albert’s side of the family, and Erin’s sister has not had any children yet which means that the closest in age on Albert’s side is 8 years, and a minimum of 4 years on Erin’s side we estimate; so she is a bit in no man’s land for people to play with. Erin does have a cousin whose youngest is a year older than Elia, but the last time they met, that cousin took toys away from Elia and uncharacteristically pushed her down (admittedly this was when Elia was a one year old and could probably hold her own better now). Her parents said that the cousin normally doesn’t have kids smaller than her so it was an interesting circumstance.

Another thing happening is that Curie received a lot of gifts and toys that have become shared toys in the house. Elia has a slide, a bike, a car, etc…. and she does not hesitate to claim things as hers. But there are few things bought just for her. She has become aware of equality in gifts too, not in value yet, but in what she receives she was aware that Albert bought Curie a clippy doll and Elia the dried strawberries she loves, and while Albert was getting things that each loved, Elia was very aware that she did not receive a clippy doll (that had to be rectified later). So Curie got a play kitchen from IKEA when she was one, and a guitar when she was two. Elia did not get an iconic gift at one in the same way and we did not really know what to get her for her second birthday coming up. Then at Thanksgiving we were visiting Ed and Suephy’s house who were hosting this year and Curie fell in love with a rocking horse that while a little pricey, is totally worth it to see the joy in her face as she rode it. Since then, she has tried to ride the little white horse stuffed animal (smushing it, but undeterred she continued to ride it), and will point out horses in videos and stores when she gets a chance. So yes, we have a daughter who wants a pony.

Albert gets the winter blues because while people are taking the time to remember to be kind and caring, he wishes that it doesn’t take a holiday to make us remember. Another friend has the blues because trying to be thoughtful to everyone is like having everyone’s birthday on the same day and it is hard. We have tried to ask our friends and family to focus less on gifts and more on the spirit of the holidays. We are trying to move away from the commercialism, being caught by the obligation to buy to let people know they are important to us, paying much more for rush shipping to hit this arbitrarily magical day, we want to teach the values of kindness and caring year round, but we want the holidays to be so magical also. Curie is very much into Santa Claus and while this is an Elia blog, we want to share what we told both of them about Santa. Before we were married and before we had kids, we talked about whether we wanted our kids to believe in Santa, and the same concern applied: we didn’t want it to be about gifts, but we did want the magic to be there. So we decided this: Santa (person or concept) needs help to get to everyone because there are so many people, and because there are people who are not as fortunate as others, we (parents and kids) have to help Santa get the gifts and spread the holiday spirit. The other day we explained this to Curie, and you know what? She wanted to help Santa get gifts for our friends and more importantly said that she wanted to help Santa get the rocking horse for Elia’s birthday. Curie is more excited to give Elia the rocking horse than we are, and almost as much as Elia will be when she gets it. Most of the things you presuppose when you don’t have kids yet fall to the wayside when you do, but sometimes it works the way you planned. Happy Holidays.

Curie November 2015

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There was an article recently in the Washington Post on what to do when you think the world is a terrible place and number 2 is to watch kids play;  when we are down, watching Curie and Elia play is an astonishing salve for the soul (and those of you without kids can come over and spend time with ours), and gives us some perspective.

Curie is growing up a lot, you don’t see it as much in the pictures as you do with Elia, but she is becoming more sophisticated and endearing. We saw “Inside Out” at a theater that serves food and shows older films. Elia fell asleep, but Curie, having seen it before and knowing it was Bella’s first time watching it (Bella is 13 mind you), held Bella’s hand at the scary parts and hugged bella when Bing Bong died. At the beginning of the movie, we were afraid it might be too much for Curie, so we asked her to take care of Bella, and even though it was Albert’s suggestion, she did, she took the responsibility to take care of her friend and held her when Bing Bong died. How amazing is that?

She loves taking care of Elia and one night asked Erin to tell her when Elia woke up crying because she wanted to take care of her little sister. She kept trying to stay awake waiting for Elia to cry but ended up falling asleep next to her. Another time, Albert was having a bad day and though we try not to burden our kids with issues they don’t need to carry, they can sense when something is wrong. Albert was sad, and Curie came up to him, spontaneously gave him a hug and asked why he was sad.

She is still very much the four-year old though, learning to somersault, jumping down three stairs at a time, pretending she is a frog and shouting “ribbit!” The frog is particularly cute because she sets up with her hands in front of her before making her leap each time.

At Thanksgiving, she worked very hard to keep up with her older cousin’s play, and they were great for the most part in including her. With their help, she won at bingo, played Tenzi, and judged the drawing contest with her Ah-gong. When the family went out for a walk and run, we split up onto two groups, with us being the walking group and Bernard and Agnes and the older kids being the running group. Somehow as we got ready, Curie was playing and ended up running with the running group. Agnes said that when they started Curie bolted at full tilt for two blocks, making everyone take her pace, before she ran out of steam. She took charge of the Frisbee and threw it quite a bit, and on the playground she did not hold back playing. When the kids did not put her name on the list for the ping-pong tournament, she went to Erin sad, but when Erin put her down as the special helper she was elated, and told everyone.

At the Thanksgiving meals, beautifully hosted by Ed, Suephy, Jared, and Dylan, she discovered that she loved ham and baked potatoes in addition to turkey and steak, and of course pumpkin pie. She had learned that she loved turkey when she and Albert spent Thanksgiving lunch at her school together. One of the best parts of Thanksgiving for Albert’s mom was to spend time teaching Curie to draw. Curie was patient and responsive and they learned to draw rainbows together. Albert’s mom was most impressed that Curie not only knew her colors, but in what order they went on the rainbow.

Curie still gets frustrated and whines as a four year-old  might, but she is learning, becoming more patient, and discovering she can do new things. She is proud that she can do Velcro for instance, something that we thought she knew, but she made it a point to show us. She and Erin learn a new word each night to write and is delighted when we show how proud we are of her. Someone on a blog on Facebook wrote that children just want to see that you are delighted to see them, and that is true. She wants Julie to babysit, she saw Tangled, and Monsters Inc and Finding Nemo. Oh, and she saw Frosty the snowman at Thanksgiving.

And then, she is funny in other ways. We have this restaurant we like called Pho Factory near us which opened when Curie was born. Curie loves the owner and always wants to go to “Andy’s restaurant,” which refers to Andy’s other restaurant Eden Kitchen instead of Pho Factory because there is a waiter who loves Curie, but talked too much to her and made her uncomfortable. Well that waiter is no longer at the restaurant and though we told Curie this, she still refused to go. Then one day when we were deciding where to go, Curie suggested Pho Factory because she knew it was Andy’s restaurant and close. She was nervous about going but told us she wanted to go anyway’ that was particularly sophisticated to us.

Maybe its because it was just Thanksgiving or perhaps it is because of the challenges of the year, or simply its the holiday blues (or perhaps it is because Susan Sarandon said there was going to be a segment on it on NPR through PRI), but the idea of gratitude has really hit home as of late.  There is no mistake that life can be seen as finding our way through suffering but the concept of gratitude really drives home the idea of joy and peace. In our times of angst, we often think that if only we had “x” or “y” then we would be cured or saved, when in reality it takes a fundamental change in your heart to effect that change. Each and everyone of us has a different support structure that could be pets, or friends, or faith, or community, for some of us with kids, it is parenting and the idea of parenting – and as a result the appreciation of having been parented. Before this becomes too preachy, suffice to say that our lives have been greatly enriched by Curie and Elia, and it is remembering all these little things that happen that drive these writings and how long they have become. Thanks for reading.

It’s that time again…

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If you would like a 2015 Chen family card and have never received one in the past please PM (private message) me your address so we can add it to our list.

If you received your card last year and nothing has changed in your address, you need do nothing.

If you did not receive 2014’s card but thought you should have, we received many bounce backs last year of returned cards, so also PM us your address so we can add it to the list.

If you would like to be taken off of our list,  or moved and would like to be taken off of our list, please let us know as well.

If you are not sure if you got one and would like one, please PM your address.