New addition March 19. After hearing someone do it on NPR I wrote my hairdresser on Facebook and offered to pay for 5 haircuts in advance. Erin fainted yesterday and really scared me, we think it is because she was dehydrated – she has a broken knee. I’ve been the caretaker and that is okay but I am grateful that Reggie made an effort to give me some space to recover a little.
March 12? Here are two stories during the strangeness that is our new normal.
Caveat 1: the need to write this in a public space like our blog or FB is purely a coping mechanism because if this was about what we are doing altruistically there would be no need to tell anyone – karma points don’t show up on a score board anywhere. This is about not feeling so out of control in a world gone mad.
Caveat 2: we are doing fine, there are so many people with issues to deal with, we know people who have had loved ones pass, have had family life emergencies, are having their worlds shifting from under them. We are like everyone one else, coping with the uncertainty and hoping for the best.
Story 1: I was shopping like everyone else and standing the longer than average lines. I only had a basket because I had been shopping every day for the past three days and was there to get a few remaining things. When I got to the front, I put my groceries on the belt and went for my wallet, which … wasn’t there. These were the pants where my wallet had fallen out before and it could be in the store or in the parking lot or in the car. I had not forgotten it because I had just used it in a store a moment earlier.
Not knowing what to do, I took my groceries off the belt and pushed them back into the basket, the people in back of me asked me what was wrong. I told them I lost my wallet. I set the basket aside on the ground and ran first to the car – I had parked across the street because the grocery store lot had been full. To my relief my wallet was lying next to my car where I had gotten out. I grabbed it and ran back into the grocery store.
I went back to my basket and the people told me I was lucky, the man that had been two people in back of me offered me cuts back into the line, and in my worn-heightened state, I accepted. He did not have to do that, he was older with a few items in his basket telling me I was lucky. I offered to let him in front of me rather than behind me but he insisted that I go first. I was so grateful and relieved, I felt the humanity that we like to believe in manifested in this man letting me back into line. So I bought his groceries for him too. He probably didn’t need me to pay for his food, but I did not know what else to do feeling like saying “thank you” was not enough. He accepted though and thanked me. I gave him a deep bow, which he returned and we went to our cars. He had parked across the street too and waved to me as we each drove off. I did it for me, to make me feel better, to bring some sanity back into my life.
Story 2: This is a shorter one. We got a message from the school to come by and pick up supplies and belongings. They would be setting up some distance learning for the kids. If we needed a computer, we should stop by and pick one up. I felt the need to make sure we had laptops for the kids so bought two Chromebooks for them on Amazon before those too sold out (no, don’t freak out there are plenty of them, I just had the panicked reaction). We’d been reading stories about how the district was opening up centers so that kids could pick up lunches if they needed them. A Chromebook ranges from $74 to over a thousand, but they do start under a hundred. So I looked up and asked Erin and we sent a message to the teachers: “we just bought two chromebooks for the kids to do the work you will be providing. Crazy times. If you run out of computers to give to kids, would you let me know? We don’t have a lot, but we may be able help out here and there.”
We are working on keeping our family safe, trying to flatten the curve and help the way we can. In our lives there are existential job questions, Erin has a broken knee and can’t move around, and the day becomes a routine of caring, feeding, helping with the potty, and occasionally a moment of respite trying not to think too much about what if. We need to social distance ourselves so that we do not exacerbate the spread of the virus, but we also need to remember our humanity in this buying grocery gift cards for needy families, taking the time to care for oneself so that you can care for others. Remembering that everyone else is scared in these unprecedented times so understanding that everyone has their own story. Julie Jbara wrote that it feels empty on Facebook without trips or concerts or restaurants or parties that all that is left is love. And I like that, if we fill the interwebs with stories of good that would be amazing; so I am sharing – again as much for me to cope as for anything else.