Elia turns 3 months!

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Elia turns 3 months! When you do a picture a day not having a picture means you can’t make the collage. Albert went to Copenhagen one day before Elia turned three months which meant that we couldn’t get the last picture into the collage until he got back.

We are finding that we are more careful with Elia. Whether that is because we didn’t know better with Curie or that Elia spent so much time in NICU, we don’t really know. If you look back at pictures, Curie was face-forward in the Baby Bjorn at this point, we are just getting Elia into the Baby Bjorn – and it is us not her! She is fully capable, in fact she doesn’t like to be held face in normally, her favorite position is holding her beneath her under arm pits faced forward. Easily a forward-facing Baby-Bjorn position.

This month Elia got eye lashes and eyebrows in earnest and in a picture or two looks like Curie did (we will post one soon that shows this). Where Curie liked to snuggle, she was sparing about giving smiles at three months, Elia likes to move, but smiles all the time. She began playing a game with Albert where she would spit out her pacifier and when Albert would put it back she would smile and spit it out again. At three months, that was pretty amazing, at least for her parents. She also pauses when you say “hungry,” but we don’t know if that is understanding or not.

Suephy, Jared, and Dylan came up to see their cousin and both boys held Elia. At first, Jared was concerned because Elia would cry when he held her, but in reality he held her last when she was tired. By the time they left, Elia slept in Jared’s arms. When we write about Curie, we will tell you the crazy things we did.

This month we also went to the zoo, our friends the Hoaglands gave us a membership this year. Elia had cradle cap, so we put olive oil in her hair to help it. An unintended consequence though is that she smells like old oil by the next day. Elia is putting on weight, went to size 1 diapers and  Cradle cap. Got chubbier. Baby bjorn, zoo, started size 1 diapers. and 0-3 clothes. Elia still is tiny, and looks much younger than she is.

It has gone faster. Maybe that is the reason we are being more careful – to try to relish the time, but it is a blink of an eye in comparison to when we had Curie. It is precisely that we have two kids that make the days go faster. Changing clothes, getting ready for school, baths, meals, the time disappears in the beauty of the domestic day. Sure there are times of frustration and moments of emotion – being on the edge of overwhelmed. There is work, and family, and life and… everything – but that everything is life, and every moment of perspective, challenge, and emotion reminds us to appreciate what we have, feel blessed that we have, and if we take a moment each day to consider, we can relish what is important.

2014-03-06

Elia Turns Two Months!

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Elia turns two months. At two months, Elia is 8 pounds 2.4 ounces, has begun to coo, rolls over from front to back, almost rolls over from back to front, and like her sister at two months, has learned to get out of a blanket if you throw one over her. Also like her sister at the same age, she started size one diapers, went to child care for the first time, and has begun to sleep longer. We have begun carrying her in the Baby Bjorn in addition to her stroller.

Elia is just coming into her own. If you look at the pictures, you can practically see it in her eyes. She smiles a lot and loves to be cuddled. She sleeps more than Curie did, but she is also younger at the same age. She will lie on her back unperturbed for long periods of time, she tracks when you hold her, and she has begun to self-soothe with her hand in her mouth (both girls are likely thumb suckers with orthodontic bills in the future).

If it seems that Curie seemed more alert in her pictures, it is because with one child it was easier to capture when she was alert. With Elia, we take the pictures we can and cherish the time we have with each of our kids.

Curie, like her parents, loves to hold Elia, though often in awkward ways, the other day Curie bent over and said “Mommy, I want to give Elia a piggy-back, put her on my back.” This month we all caught colds, and as a baby it takes longer to get over it, so she coughs and has to learn to breathe through her mouth. You would think that with our second baby we would be less at the doctor’s office at a drop of a hat, but we go anyway, including rashes and such, Dr. Dierks, our pediatrician is patient with us and reassures us. Curie has been fascinated with going to the doctor with Elia, though very protective; at the last visit, Curie told us not to take Elia since she was going to get shots.

This month  we visited the Air and Space museum twice, Erin’s parents came to visit, and Albert resumed racquetball; Erin gets ready to return to work and we gear up for a different routine. We get a little more sleep, but the weight of being on all the time does take its toll. The days go really fast and if you don’t take the time to appreciate it, carve the time to be a part of it, remember that this time is fleeting, you will miss too much. With work, obligations, family challenges, and the inexorable push of time, we are learning to appreciate every moment no matter how small and be grateful for what we have.

2014-02-13

 

Happy One Month Birthday, Elia!

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Happy One Month Birthday, Elia! 18 days in the NICU make it feel like this is our second week with Elia, not a full month – our due date was January 18th, Elia was born on December 19th.  As recounted in previous posts, the hardest part was seeing her only a couple of hours a day.

Elia was 4 pounds 8 ounces when she was born, and at her month’s doctor’s visit she will be around 6 pounds (5 pounds 14 ounces the week before). Elia has out-grown her preemie clothes and is wearing newborn outfits now. Our favorites are the Mickey and Eeyore ones (the Eeyore has a tail in the back).

Just like with Curie, we are posting monthly collages with every day for the first year – those of you interested can watch Elia grow with us. On our website we include a family picture, on Facebook we collected those at the end of the first year.

Before Elia was born, Albert would joke about the second child – that he would just reuse the pictures of Curie and tell Elia that it was her (actually Peter at Duck Chang started that joke), the reality is Albert has not stopped taking the picture a day – you can call it insanity or dedication (or “insanication”).

(Why does Elia’s collage only have an ultrasound in the beginning? Confession time: when Albert was putting together Curie’s first month collage he forgot the 18th day, he didn’t forget to take it, he just forgot to put it into the collage. You can count it, 32 slots, three taken up by pregnancy test, ultrasound, and monitor; September so 30 days, there had to be a missing picture. So here we have Elia’s, December so 31 days, that means only one free slot, hence just the ultrasound (though we have the other two). Why didn’t Albert ever fix it? If you have ever been to our house, he blew up a 24 x 36 of the collage which hangs in the stairwell, and it would be a lot of work to redo it. Now the truth is known.)

We are out of practice at being new parents, but we try and the sleep deprivation comes back like riding a bike – (wait, we meant parenting comes back). Elia is eating well both from bottle and breast, poops a lot, sleeps a lot, and burps a lot, all part of her job. Elia smiles a lot ,and did so  from the beginning – as early as the second day. There are a few hours of awake time where she loves being on her tummy (we burp her face down on our palm, so she probably associates face down with feeling good). When she is not doing tummy time, she is looking around with wonder at the world or looking into your eyes, sharing time.

It’s 3 AM, Elia has just been fed, Curie is sleeping quietly perpendicular to the bed, you can hear the ice maker in the refrigerator gurgle, lights are low and the baby makes mouth movements as she dreams of eating – a smile passes her lips. Warm baby breathing against your chest, you think to yourself, “I remember this, I remember what this was like.” What is this? This is happiness.

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Curie Loves Elia

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Curie loves Elia. As promised here are the pictures of Curie meeting Elia. On the lower right is when we told Curie that Elia could go home – Curie had not been allowed into the NICU so had waited in the cafeteria every time we visited. Upper right is first meeting, with the the upper middle being the present Curie bought for Elia months ago in anticipation of meeting her “baby sisser.” Upper left, Curie did not want to let her go so insisted on helping carry baby Elia. The others are pretty self-explanatory except that the middle is the first time she held her sister.

We are well, sleep deprived but happy. Elia gets her first month on the 19th, more then. Special thanks to Brenda for her help every day with us since Elia was born.

Elia Comes Home

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Elia comes home. After 18 days in the NICU, we are a family again. There is a saying amongst NICU grads, you never want to have to go to the NICU, but you are grateful for everything they do.

We are about to explain what happened at the NICU so that people can know that it is not so scary. It is important to trust the staff at the NICU and try not to predict when the baby will go home. The baby will go home when he or she is ready.

Elia was born at 35 weeks and 5 days, and was an IUGR (interuterine growth retardation – meaning she wasn’t growing as fast as we would like). Because Curie was also an IUGR baby, and had suffered in the womb, the decision was made to deliver early while Elia was still healthy.

At birth, she had a little grunting, which is a sign of respiratory distress. She was put on a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure, same as is used for apnea) machine for a day to help regulate her breathing. When her breathing stablized, she was put on a nasal cannula to get oxygen into her blood (day 2). She had a little trouble keeping her breathing, so they gave her a stimulant to help her – a dose of caffeine.

Amniotic fluid is usually pushed out during labor, but since she had a c-section they needed to put a tube in her mouth to suck out the fluid; at this point she was fed by umbilical catheter which puts nutrients directly into her belly. After a day or two she was put on an IV instead.

We were able to bottle feed her at the beginning but she kept getting tired. This was also normal for a 35 week and 5 day old baby. She did not know how to eat yet, so they intubated her and gavage fed her meaning they put a tube in her nose to her stomach and put the breast milk into her stomach. This would be the reason we stayed in NICU for so long – in fact we joked that why would she learn to eat if she could get milk pumped into her nose? She could continue until she was 18. Even with breast milk, infants need to be fortified with formula and vitamins at this age.

Elia was a little jaundiced on the first day so she was on a UV pad called a billi-blanket for a day. Curie was on it for several days. Babies have a terrible second night since they are out of the womb, we did not have to experience it because she was in the NICU. Babies also have terrible poo called merconium which is black and sticky, the nurses took care of it for us.

When Elia could temperature regulate she was taken out of the isolet and put into a crib. When she could start eating, we were officially out of the NICU and into a step-down room (ironically also in NICU). When she could take 8 feedings in a row without gavage, she was ready to go home. This does not happen gradually, one day she decided she was going to eat and we were sent home. She would have been 38 weeks and two days today.

Bottom line, trust the NICU (but don’t be afraid to stand up for yourselves there), don’t get your hopes up or the goal post will keep moving. Don’t be in a rush to get home, they can take care of her better there than you can at home. In fact we miss the monitors a little. 160 heart rate, 100% on the pulse oxymeter, an 85 over 50 blood pressure, and a 30 on the breathing. At a glance she is okay.

The hardest part was that visitors had to be over 12 so Curie couldn’t meet Elia until today. Instead she stayed in the cafeteria with her Grandmom or Poppop, or her aunt and uncle-to-be, or spent time with “her friends” our friends the Hoaglands. Thank you to all for keeping her company while we snuck in an hour or two a day with our new girl. Thank you for Emma, Raye, Anna, Ashley, Tino, Jim, Annalisa, Lischa, Julie, Haley – all the staff at Labor and Delivery, post-delivery, and NICU at Virginia Hospital Center. Thank you to Dr. Armstrong, Dr. McClaren (no matter how scary those visits were) and all of their colleagues and staff.

Albert’s birthday in the hospital, Christmas in the NICU, New Years going to the NICU, every day a visit to “the doctor” as Curie would call it. All the celebrations are smushed in a day, today, when we are a family again. If you have questions, ask us, we don’t know it all but having been in the NICU twice we can at least tell our story again and if that helps at all, then we are glad to do it again and again. We are lucky. We are grateful. We wish every parent and parent-to-be all the prayer and wishes for their children.

(There are cute pictures of Curie meeting Elia for the first time, we’ll get those out soon.)

2013 Holiday Card

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With everything going on, our card is arriving late. For those of you who haven’t seen it or did not send us your address for this year, here is our card – edited for Elia, who is doing great. Best wishes for a Happy New Year to everyone.

 

Quiz: Curie or Elia

Curie or Elia

Erin said we should post this for people to try. Here are 9 picture pairs, labeled “a” and “b,” one is Elia one is Curie. To play, list in order which ones are Elia. As for an update, we’re still in NICU but doing well.

Elia

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Guess what Erin got Albert for his Birthday?

Elia Chen was born by c-section on December 19, 2013 at 8:24 AM, at 4 pounds 8 oz, 18 inches long at 36 weeks (Curie was 4 pounds 7 oz, 17 inches long at 37 weeks). Mother and baby are well. Elia is in the NICU working on her breathing and weight for a while (Curie was in NICU for 4 days and as Bill said, while you never want anyone to have to experience the NICU, they are amazing there and you learn so much how to take care of your child there). Erin is recovering from the c-section.

Elia was delivered early because of her small size (more on her birth story page).

Curie is so excited to have a “baby sisser” that she has been diapering her stuffed animals and has bought Elia a Curious George. She will see her baby sister soon.

We did not publicize the pregnancy on Facebook, but kudos to Gloria for spotting it in the Halloween pictures (and thank you for messaging it back channel instead of posting it online). For those of you who knew and were guessing the name, the official clue was female scientist, the unofficial clues were that we chose “Curie” over Marie (or Irene) – last names –  and that Marie Curie (and Irene Curie) was a Nobel laureate.

Elia is named after Gertrude B. Elion, a biochemist and Nobel prize winner of Physiology and Medicine in 1988; amongst Ms. Elion’s achievements were the development of transplant drugs, malaria, gout, acyclovir, and the development of 6-mercaplopurine used in chemotherapy to treat children with leukemia for which she won the Nobel prize.

Albert’s birthday will always be upstaged by Elia’s now and we made the 18th “Curie Day” so that she wouldn’t be left out (Erin can have the 17th or the 21st). More later, but, to Elia, welcome to this crazy world, you are loved dearly already.