Curie January 2015. “Curie Becomes a ‘Threenager,'” or “Ginger Ale and Orange Juice.” Over the past few months we have commented that three has been harder than two (people say four gets easier, but having been fooled by the idea of the terrible twos, judgement is currently being withheld), and recently Erin discovered that someone has coined the term threenager. Rebellion, contrariness, drama, and whininess all come with parenting challenges.
At pre-school Curie has learned “you get what you get and you don’t get upset,” when it comes to selecting instruments for music class. We have begun using it at home and making the transference to even which parent picks her up or does things for her.
Curie is coming into stronger emotions and learning to cope with them. Everything is all or nothing in her eyes, something that Albert had issues with when he was the same age. Tantrums and crying to the point of coughing and hysteria are not uncommon and coping with them often means making sure we take the time not to just react. Reasoning with her but being firm about the boundaries have been the general order of the day, but you have to reason like a three-year old.
Erin has been doing a great job pre-wiring conversations like “when this show ends I am going to say turn it off, and you are going to say ‘yes mommy,'” which she does really well with. Albert will take her aside and keep talking to her in measured tones until she has cried it out. We tell her all the time that we don’t understand her when she whines and make her say it again until it is in her “big girl strong voice” and only say yes when she does. Albert will take it further and encourage her superhero voice or robot voice (okay usually it is Albert doing the superhero voice or robot voice, but it convey’s the idea that a strong voice is better for asking for things). All of this is of course coupled with a “please.” We do the same when she demands and work the other direction to a nice voice.
Now don’t get us wrong, it is not an exasperated pain (okay sometimes it is), but it is a daily occurrence that we want to work on more to rein in the entitled-ness, and hopefully not spoil her. Each parent has their own way of raising kids (and judging other parents along the way), and while everyone seems to have some sort of advice either from experience or thought, we are all just muddling through the best we can and what works for one kid may not work for another. What works one day, even, may not work the next.
The month was long for us, partly because we have never really shaken the illnesses of December and acquired new ones along the way, and partly because we were anticipating our Cancun vacation with the Hoaglands on January 31. Work seemed longer and harder, daily chores did not get done. Tempers and voices became brittle and taking the time each day to be a family and appreciate became more important though not always done. Twice Curie wanted us to take a family picture in bed (we do a lot as evidenced by the pictures) and wanting to be with “family all together” is something very important to her. She told Erin that she wanted a big family.
Snow in DC meant snow suits and indoor snowmen as Curie discovered she loved snow, but did not like cold. We went to the car show in DC (which was a little bit of a disappointment as we had hoped to see cool concept cars but instead was at a what felt like an indoor car lot with a lot of ordinary cars). The best part of the car show was when Curie took charge of one of the cameras and said “Daddy, you and me are ‘tographers,’ wight?” And proceeded to take the job very seriously getting angry at people getting into her shot. She learned to hold the camera away from her eye (she had been imitating Albert when he shoots his DSLR by holding the LCD to her face), and has taken some very nice pictures.
Curie is becoming a complex, opinionated, wonderful little girl (oops sorry, big girl). Curie’s favorite shows are Chuggington and Octonauts (thank you Emma) and recently Doc McStuffin, but is trying to convince us that the two verboten things Disney princesses and Barbies are good things (Albert and Erin respectively dislike these). She loves her hot dog without the bun, she likes to mix drinks together to see what colors, flavors, or sensations they make (orange juice and ginger ale are her favorite, but you have to pour the ginger ale first she says). She loves her family, especially her Mommy, her Daddy, and her Little Sister, which, of course, is all of us. When she told Erin she wanted a big family she said: I want four Mommys, four Daddys, four Elias, four Poppops, four Julies, and four Grandmoms… you get the idea. All this to say in yet a different way, parenting is hard, but parenting is wonderful all the same.