When times are challenging, even when they are not anxiety producing or dire, there is a sense that life is a constant uphill battle. This is an attitude that is easy to fall into as much as it a choice of waiting for the other shoe to drop. Much of life is about choices, and the stress comes when you are not choosing and not in control. Choose to be content, and happiness will follow – note, I did not say choose to be happy, as more often than not, when there are challenges, and happiness is not achieved, you won’t be content. You have but to look at a four-year old’s life to see truth in how to live life.
When K-Mart was closing, we took the kids to buy a toy. Elia immediately wanted a toy back pack with a toy cell phone, and was drawn to it even though there were maybe 10 aisles of toys. Curie on the other hand went through and put options in the cart until she found her Starfire doll. We put other options for Elia in the cart including a big Jackson Storm, which she said was handsome. But she kept going back to the Dora the Explorer backpack. We ended up buying the doll and back pack (plus a wreath for Erin), and both girls really appreciated the toys. Here is the thing though, the backpack doesn’t even have straps, and yet it is one of Elia’s favorite toys even a month later. There is something about it, putting thing in and of course the cell phone, but there is a contentment to having it for her. Perhaps it is because she got to pick it out, that it wasn’t a hand-me-down or something, but she is happy.
Or was until the next day when she saw that we got a Black Panther claw toy for Curie’s friend Liam. She climbed up on Albert’s lap and said she wanted a “tool toy” which Albert did not understand. It took twenty minutes of laughing, but we finally realized that she wanted a “cool” toy, that the Black Panther claw was cooler (boy’s toys tend to shoot things rather than come with combs). She didn’t want her backpack, she wanted the cool toy. This was a revelation and we wanted to encourage the non-gender toy thinking so we brought them back to target to get a Black Panther claw. But then she didn’t want the claw, and wanted Bumblebee from the Transformers, which was still great, then she switched to the money bit from Duck Tales, then Launchpad’s plane, and then ended up wanting a Minnie Purse which was like her backpack, plastic with a cell phone. Perhaps we let them have too much screen time.
So for days after she carried her purse, which was very cute and she wanted to look like the box, which we had thrown away, and would wear the sunglasses on her head and talk on the phone with the purse in the crook of her arm. And she was content, and she was happy. Erin once told her to put away her Minnie Mouse backpack and she said, “it’s not a backpack, its a purse!” Noted though, a month later, she plays with the backpack more than the purse.
Elia only wants to wear dresses but is not the girly girl all the time. When they play super heroes and princesses, Elia is the princess of plants with plant powers. She picked out a ray gun over a doll, and wants to play with swords to fight. She is determined and doesn’t often give way when she knows what she wants. She hates to be interrupted and will tell you that you interrupted her, and then is upset because she can’t remember what she was going to say. She is proud of doing things herself and once carried a mattress all by herself up the stairs. Albert found the mattress upstairs and asked her how it got there. She had dragged it by herself which in hindsight was pretty dangerous and must have been difficult. Note this is a crib mattress but proportionally huge for her, it would be like an adult carrying an normal mattress up the stairs.
To date, Elia loves Albert and will prefer to be with him for many of the things we do. When asked Erin says she is totally okay with this, that the girls sit on him or want to be with him largely because of the feeling like her body wasn’t hers when they were nursing. But with Albert helping with math homework with Curie (Erin does the reading), there has been amazing Erin/Elia time. Playing together putting away things together, and folding clothes together. Elia is very proud of her independence and loves getting recognized for her initiative. It is also adorable to find a small pile of folded underwear, folded in her sensibilities when getting ready in the morning.
Elia loves telling you things between just you and her – even though we say there are no secrets in the family. She will get upset when you relay something very cute that she said to the other parent. She is also vastly amused by potty humor and loved that Albert taught them how to make fart noises and loved when she didn’t know all the words to Come Alive from the Greatest Showman, that one of the lines sounded like “electric farts.” “Come alive, come alive, always parts and electric farts.” Peals of laughter. Happiness from contentment . Love living life as a four year old.