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Curie October 2016

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We went to a lot of farms in October, we went apple picking in Stribling, the Burke Fall Festival with Natalie, Chloe, and a whole Bright Horizon’s contingent, Butler Farms with Lucy and Nora, and Navi, and Great Country Farms (our favorite) by ourselves. The girls love the farms and fall festivals, Curie particularly likes the jump “pillow” a giant jumping bounce set-up at Great Country Farms.

In addition there were a number of birthday parties, Katie’s at the bounce place in Woodbridge, where we immediately ran out of batteries in our brand new car, EJ’s party at a different bounce place, and Etta’s party (which we had to miss Mateo’s party because it was on the same day) at Flight, basically ANOTHER bounce place!

We bought the new car, and Curie was really broken up about saying goodbye to the old yellow car (of course we haven’t gotten rid of it yet) we had the girls take a picture with the old car and she was beside herself. Elia will point to the old car, but Curie really has a bond with it. All the kids at Bright Horizons knew when we were there with the Yellow Bug. Both girls hugged the car, and it wasn’t until we went into the new car that she felt better. We asked her what the name of the new car is, and she said “Pug” because it rhymes like “Bug.” It has not stuck, but it was very cute, the “Yellow Pug.” A few days later, Erin dropped a bottle of white pepper onto our scale and it shattered like a car window, pretty amazing really. Curie’s response was “now I will miss the scale AND the car.”

Curie loves school, she loves going, gets scared if she thinks we might miss the bus. She has had some catching up to do because she is the youngest of the class, we now encourage Super Why and Sesame Street over “eggs” and spend a lot of time with Daddy and Mommy to do lessons. She actually insists on lessons most days. She had a zero on her color words when they began assessing and Albert worked on it with her using test prep techniques (how many “P” words are there? Which one is the longer one? There are three B words, there is only one O word), and spoiler alert for November’s blog: she got 100% on her latest assessment. It shows that she can learn and catch up quickly, and is learning and progressing at an amazing pace. Her drawings have improved dramatically drawing with her friends, and when we go back to Bright Horizons on occasion to pick up Elia, there is a difference between her and her friends in the K-prep class.

Curie takes the bus every morning and takes the martial arts bus to tae kwon do (which we just call “martial arts”) for after-school care. On the bus to school we wave to her from the side and try to see her in the windows (they are tinted on the buses here – which is different from when we were kids). The thing though is that unless she is sitting on our side and really up to the window, it is hard to see her. We asked her if she was sitting on our side on the bus and she said that the bus patrol tells her where to sit. So the next day, unprompted, while getting on the bus, Curie stops the line cold on the stairs (she is the first one on the bus normally). We wait, and wait, and wonder what is going on, then we hear the bus driver call to us and say “she asked if she could sit on the side where her parents are so that she can wave to you.” That’s our girl! Stand up for what you want! We were so proud.

So, Curie comes home and tells us she is going to test for her white belt (Albert said that he got his white belt when they gave him his uniform, but apparently you test for a white belt – and pay $35 for the privilege to do so). It is like a recital where you go watch, so we went. Curie is the smallest kid in the class by far. It was so cute. The teacher asks the class if anyone needs to use the bathroom before the test. The entire class except Curie runs off. Curie says looks at us with the “what? I don’t need to go” look. They do jumping jacks, push ups, low blocks, high blocks, kicks, simulated sparring, recite Korean numbers and words and tell their student creed. It is amazing and Curie only has to be asked to use the other hand once, one poor kid keeps using the wrong side and is asked a lot to switch hands or feet. It was a really good learning experience to see one kid not be able to break his board (more advanced students also tested) and not pass and to talk to Curie about it. The teachers are really good about self esteem and discipline, and Curie loves Mr. Arnold, her teacher and bus driver.

Curie said her tooth hurt and Erin called the dentist. There was a cancellation the next day and so she took Curie to have her tooth extracted. Albert was in Bloomington and beside himself. Erin told Albert he shouldn’t go to those kind of dentist visits any more. On the other hand, Elia had a great visit, and it might be genetics, or how Curie was in the womb, but Elia had a very different dentist experience. Curie had to take antibiotics while waiting for her original appointment and started with a lot of whining, but after a while, it became more routine, which was a relief. She does dislike grape candy because of the grape flavored Motrin though. Curie now shows off the space with her friends, chooses healthy foods and puts back sugary snacks even when Albert says they are okay (bad Albert).

Curie was the evil queen for Halloween as we posted earlier and wants to be the evil queen next year as well. She is very independent in her thinking, though can hesitate when making decisions. Curie had a great time with Etta and Isabella trick-or-treating. Elia loved it too. Choosing to be an evil queen instead of Snow White is the queen vs. princess thing we think but there is something cool about the independence to not be what everyone else was. Another incident was the Happy Meal toys where the girl toy you could comb her hair and only one arm moved, where the boy toy would shoot things or have wings that opened. Curie was indignant and asked Erin to write in to Old MacDonalds.

Albert stresses about school and testing, got nervous for the white belt testing, agonized over needing to work on the letters and so on. Erin worries about the whining, and baby talk. We both worry about food and sleep and all sorts of things. But here is the thing, Curie is doing great, she is smiling, loves the things she does, plays teacher at home all the time. And there is something more fundamental, she defends Elia, takes care of Elizabeth (Katie’s sister) and any little kid. She told us the Winnie the Pooh movie, “makes me cry” because they can’t find Christopher Robin. And most tellingly this month, Curie offered her coat without asking to a little girl she was playing tag with because the little girl said she was cold. Curie has a good heart and that makes us prouder than anything else.

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Hoagland Halloween Party 2016

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This was the first year that we did not surprise the Hoaglands with our costume and instead coordinated. David and Candace were the inmates for their Hayfield Home for the Criminally Insane theme haunted house this year and we (with the exception of Steve,who is in San Francisco as an intern for YouTube and missed the party for the first time), were the doctors. This year we printed stickers labeled “Staff,” “Sane,” “Insane,” and “Zombie.” Curie initially did not want to wear her costume but ended up having the most fun diagnosing guests and giving them their stickers. like the VIP passes in 2013 everyone started looking for Curie and Erin to get their labels. I am sure people wondered what the labels were for, but it was just for fun. For the record, these were not the kids’ Halloween costumes.

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Elia October 2016

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With fall has come some getting sick, some time away on business, and a lot of farms for apple picking and festivals. Elia has been commuting with Albert a lot since Curie has gone to kindergarten and Erin remarked how she hadn’t realized how much time she had with the kids when she picked both of them up from school.

In the car one day Elia burped and we called her out in it because she loves saying “I bupped.” But to our surprise, she said “no, I farted, I farted in my mouth,” and was so pleased with herself for telling a joke. The crazy thing is this, when Curie was little, before Elia was born, Curie said the same thing and we have never told that story in front of Elia.

The games in the car have changed. Erin invented what color is that sound with Curie, or let’s make Elia say a word. Albert and Elia have been identifying cars with colors and getting a point for every car identified. When he says, “you have a point!” Elia grins and says “yo turn!” The songs have changed too. When Erin was driving, she would teach them songs from her youth, now with Albert and Elia, they are singing “The Wheels on the Car” where he actually uses the windshield wipers, the windows, and the horn. Another song they sing is “Old MacDonald has a Zoo” because Elia said that there were no monkeys on the farm.

She loves going to pick up Curie at Martial Arts and is fascinated by the people working out there. She keeps telling us that she wants to do the Tiger Tots, which she has to be four to join (she is almost three now). She is also obsessed with soccer, or more specifically a soccer uniform from Soccer Shots, so we enrolled her in the program. The shirt has taken forever to get to us, but it finally did arrive. She was obsessed with seeing some teams on a field practice soccer in the park and wanted to go play with them. All of soccer is Soccer Shots for her and it is probably because her friend Sophia is in the program that she is so aware of it. Now she is in the program too, she loves it and will perk up and be more attentive if you mention it.

Elia is exploring and pushing her boundaries more, as should be expected; she is also discovering imagination. One day she was opening the door and put her finger up to the door lock and looked at Albert and said, “dis my finger key,” which is really quite remarkable. She looks at tall buildings and calls them castles and tells you to look at them, so we do from her perspective and everything looks amazing. She still loves sitting in your lap, asking you to read or play, “Dada, play with me,” “Mama, play with me,” taking your hand and pulling you to her level.

With Curie, she is Elia’s hero even if she expresses it in different ways. She will give hugs and kisses, or withhold them, want to have whatever Curie has, or do whatever Curie is doing, and fairness is important. If someone else gets something she should get it too.

We have been to a lot of festivals and parties lately with jumping and slides as a theme in most of the places. At the Burke festival, Elia loved riding the long carpet slide with Albert and Erin, but was tired and unwilling to ride it at Butler farms, later we learned she was sick. The have been in many bounce houses and slides and Elia has been on every large slide she can find. Recently though, she asks to hold Albert’s hand if she is sliding down a normal slide.

Parenting is hard, when our children are sick we worry, when they fall, we worry. When they find adversity, we worry. When they learn, we worry – and work with them, and worry, and hold them and hug them and play with them and care for them, and cherish them. And love them. And while now when they cry and holding them can make it better, we’ll take that magic, and while we worry that is just another expression of love.

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Curie September 2016

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So Curie started kindergarten, taking martial arts, made new friends, rode the bus, turned five, had a birthday party at Flight trampoline park with her pre-school and kindergarten friends all in one week.

Oh it has been hard having Curie go to school. She is exposed to so much more, learning so much, and having a great time; but for the parents it is learning the new normal, anxiety for your children’s happiness and success, packing lunch, dropping off, bus rides, new pick-up hard stops at work and more. All parents do it, so it is not like it is any different for us, but at the same time, it feels overwhelming for us; so much so, that Albert has had to start instituting a half-full policy for himself.

In kindergarten, Curie has Mrs. Best a strict but fun 30-year veteran teacher. Curie is the youngest in the class and has had to catch up on many things, capital letters, lower case letters counting up to twenty, counting down from twenty, reading colors, all things that we wish we had known when she was at Bright Horizons. We have since let them know that they need to help better prepare their students. For us, it simply means that we need to spend time every day with lessons for Curie, so we set aside some time, bought letters an posters, and Curie eagerly dives in. The fact that she likes school so much is wonderful and a godsend. Her favorite thing to play with us now is being the teacher at school, though she is always the teacher because she is in charge.

She is learning a lot too, they have all sorts of songs they learned, “Da rules, da rules, da classroom rules.” Every Tuesday they have a folder to bring home and in it is the work they have done. She brings home the cutest things she has made in school, a Humpty Dumpty, an ant with body parts labeled (and song sung to “Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.”), little work books for learning numbers and more. She is exhausted everyday though running through all her energy in a day that we have looked to raise her caloric intake to help boost her energy. This is offset by the need to help her sugar intake for her teeth since she has had to have a lot of dental work because of her soft enamel as a result of being born early. The dental visits have been horrible and traumatic. We have one to go, and it is an extraction. She bounces back relatively quickly from them, but for us as parents it is very hard.

Curie takes martial arts as her after-school program. A bus picks her up every day after school. Her friend Etta has joined her and they go together. Etta is Curie’s best friend at school and is a year older and a head taller. The martial arts class loves Curie who is the smallest one there and the kids like to draw pictures for her. Curie likes to teach us martial arts too, taekwondo to be exact. She is learning to be more respectful, and learning discipline in her class, which has not always translated to home yet. Her friend Layla got her white belt, and Curie is excited to get hers as well.

We have had time with kids from her old pre-school spending time at dinner with Lucy and Nora at Olive Garden, birthday parties for Chloe, Natalie, and Maggie, dinner with Navee, who she tried to hug all night. We have had time with her new friends as well, play dates with Layla, Isabella, and Etta. She and Etta hold hands walking to the classroom from the cafeteria. The first day of school she walked holding hands with Katie the other kindergartener who rides the bus with her when they couldn’t find their room. Another older kid takes them there now. Curie also loves the kids who have helped her, Riley the bus monitor is someone that Curie looks up to.

There has been a lot of change and the important thing to realize is all of this is a part of growing up. Albert’s mother recounts that Suephy had trouble starting kindergarten, but it did not stop her from being as successful as she is, it just takes being involved as parents and teaching and reinforcing the learning in school, staying ahead of lessons, helping with homework, getting her focused on the right things. She is more tired after school and just wants to go home to play. She needs more Mommy time and asks for playdates with Mommy or Daddy. It feels like we have less time as a family because of the obligations and the structure. Curie is taking it all in stride and it is just our “new-normal” as Albert likes to call it.

Curie’s backpack is a small kids pack we got at REI when she was two, it is the size of a purse-backpack to get a sense of what we mean. In it she puts in her lunch bag, her snack, her martial arts snack, the Tuesday folder, if it is Tuesday or Wednesday, her library book (she loves the library), a t-shirt for martial arts and sometimes a jacket if she has taken it off, and her water bottle. The backpack is tiny but so jammed packed with things, and even though it is not a full sized backpack, it is huge on her. After we carry her to the bus stop she dutifully puts it on and runs to the bus, sometimes forgetting to kiss us goodbye. The backpack is kind of like our days, full of stuff, seemingly small and too big at the same time, dutifully worn, and with a tiny keychain on it for good luck.

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We say goodbye to the Bug and buy a new car

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In the last couple of months we have put in about $3,000 into the Bug for engine and turbo pressure work and $2,000 before that at the end of last year for a catalytic converter and other issues. (Thankfully) in the driveway, the check engine light came on last week along with the EPC and anti-lock brake light.

The car is worth $4,000 if in the best of shape, so it has come time to say goodbye to our 2002 yellow VW New Beetle Turbo.

In trying to see this as half-full, no one was hurt as the Bug failed and the time has come to get a new car, but Curie did not quite see it that way and when we went to take our family picture with the car, Curie cried inconsolably, both girls hugged the car and thanked it, and Curie kissed it. We were touched by her sensitivity.

Albert’s mother reminds him that when he was three he and his sister also cried inconsolably when we sold the Ford Fairlane and bought the LTD.

In honor of our beloved car, the one that all the pre-school kids would point to and exclaim that Curie’s mother has arrived, here is a picture of Albert’s father and the Bug when the car was new and came with a first generation iPod. The kids were consulted and we recommended we buy the yellow one. The picture to the left was taken yesterday to say “thank you” and “good-bye.”

We will donate the car rather than sell it as recommended by Albert’s mother.

Albert really does like buying cars and worked ahead of time to purchase our new Honda FIT EX CVT at $1,500 below invoice and inadvertently also got $900 worth of extras for our car. The kids wanted another yellow car, and we wanted something as reliable as our Blackberry (purple) FIT from 2010 (the third picture from when it was new), so the logical choice was a yellow FIT. Erin’s father had just gotten a silver one so could tell us about the car and what was a good price.

The new 2016 FIT is fancier and more advanced than the 2010 one, and is Erin’s car, the purple one is Albert’s. The kids do love the old Bug, but they also love new car, and Curie has transferred her elementary school insignia magnet to it. It is odd, we don’t have a pet, but we are experiencing the lesson of a pet’s passing for our kids. So this is our farewell, and as we told the kids to say, “thank you yellow car, thanks for taking care of us.”