Category: Family

Curie will start kindergarten soon, the day after Labor Day (because of Virginia’s King’s Dominion Law we understand) and as a part of getting ready, we were asked to write a letter about her so that her teacher could get to know her before the start of the school year. Here is a draft of what we wrote:

“Dear Ms Best

We hope you are well.

Thank you for being Curie’s kindergarten teacher this year, and likely like all the parents of the class, we go into this new phase in Curie’s development with equal parts nervousness, hope, and pride.

If you were to ask Curie what her powers are, she would tell you that she is smart, brave, strong and fast. When you ask her what her superpower is, she is as likely as not to say that she can use her “smell” to find things.

We have done our best to instill certain values especially around concepts of beauty, and doing the right thing. We were the proto-typical anti-Disney princess parents (we have relented somewhat as she has gotten older, we are still resistant to Barbie though), when someone would call Curie princess when she was young we worked on her so that she would respond “no, I am the King.” At pre-school, that has since become “I am a Queen,” and “my Daddy doesn’t want me to be a princess, I am a Queen.”

This is not to say that she doesn’t love the princesses and My Little Pony, she loves her toys and pretending with them. We have worked with Curie to understand that anyone is pretty if they are smiling regardless of gender and physical appearance, but more importantly we have been instilling that beauty is in your actions, that you are beautiful if you do beautiful things. This has manifested in learning to do the right thing, protecting her sister or other little kids at the playground, giving up all of her shovels and pails at the sandbox to kids who might need them.

Curie will be four going into kindergarten and will turn five that Saturday. She will be among the younger ones in her class (a friend of hers, Layla, is eight months older than her), but she has been precocious from the beginning, Curie was small at birth, a peanut at four pounds seven ounces, but alert and ahead of almost all of her milestones growing up (at her two-year-old check-up, the one thing she didn’t hit ahead on milestones was jumping, but upon hearing the doctor say that, she spent the afternoon practicing until she could jump). Curie was also an early talker and her first “words” were “all done,” and was very articulate and verbal by one and a half. In fact, we missed some of the cute learning to speak until we had her sister Elia. Yes, she will be one of the youngest in the class, but we felt that she would have been bored if we had kept her one more year.

We are, as all parents should be, proud of Curie (and her sister) and have high expectations for them, but we are not so blind as to not see some of her short comings as a four-to-be-five year-old either. She has had a bit of the “gimmies” lately and will be upset if she feels slighted, or wronged, she is exploring her boundaries a bit. She responds well to calm and caring logical explanation if she is crying (it helps if you are holding her when explaining things) and is quick to learn from her mistakes.

Trying to encapsulate your child in a single letter is impossible of course, but we hope this is at least a little glimpse into Curie and how to connect with her. We have worked in various areas of education, (Albert works for in educational non-profits now, PDK International these days) and we know the importance and value of early childhood education and establishing a nurturing and strong foundation. We hope this letter will help you build that bond with our child and allow you to teach her and help her grow in your care. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Parents of Curie Chen, Albert and Erin”

A lot has happened this month including our vacation to Toronto and Niagara Falls, the girls’ first hair cut, and more. Curie has been sharing a lot more with Elia, going so far as to give her food or toys she has because Elia wants them (Elia is testing her boundaries these days and sometimes gets what she wants by bullying Curie, which we are trying to work on).

As we said in our last blog, the Olympics coincided with our vacation, and as we learned about being in another country (both Curie and Elia will say “that is our flag” when we see an American flag now, though Elia says “dat our flag.”), and discovering what is different between our countries, flags, Kinder eggs, signs etc… We of course wrote about our trip to Centreville at the Toronto Islands and after their trip there, when Albert asked Curie what they have in Canada that we don’t have in the U.S. Curie said pony rides, because she had her first pony ride there (Curie rode a big pony, Brandy and Elia rode a little pony, Merlin).

After watching the Olympics while in Toronto, the kids jumping on the bed chanting USA! USA! while the swimmers raced in the pool was one of the highlights of our trip. Curie can now recognize Michael Phelps on TV, and the Final Five on magazine covers without prompting. She loves to race in the pool with her floaties on paddling away. It is wonderful. After watching women’s Olympic gymnastics one night, Curie asked us to turn off the TV do we could all watch her “safe gymnastics.”

A lot of change right now, finishing pre-school and being one of the last kids in day care means she has seen most of her friends go on their last days. She instead plays with very little girl who she likes to take care of in her class. She is ready for kindergarten, even if we are not. She is proud of her after-school martial arts uniform, has gone on a playdate with one of her new classmates, and though we suspect she has some trepidation, has been focused on the new. It is hard to believe she is about to go to school and at the same time we are proud and know that she will do great. More next time, right now we are going to go cuddle with our daughters.

When your kids are the most important thing in the world, it is easy to lose our identity and only be the parents of your kids. At the same time, in times of trouble sometimes your kids are the only thing that get you through. At this age Curie is beyond some of the more simple milestones, but well into the more sophisticated realm of understanding and humor.

Curie loves to frame her caring and some of her self-worth in her connection to Elia. She is proud of when Elia can do something, “Mommy, its her first word (when it well is not)!” She feels loved when Elia holds her hand “Mommy, look, Elia is holding my hand!” And she cries when Elia is too busy to hug her. As we teach the kids about being beautiful from within, we shouldn’t be surprised when they do act in amazing ways, but we are.

Julie and Steve finally got engaged, and Erin mentioned that we would have to buy an engagement gift for them, at some point. Later in the day, when we were at the mall to have lunch, Curie insisted on going for a walk with Albert. Once away from the restaurant, Curie said to Albert, “we need to buy a present.” “For whom?” Albert asked. “For Julie and Steve!” And she did, she picked out a black insulated water bottle for Steve and a matching red water bottle for Julie, and gave it to Julie to open – note that she did want to see Julie open it, even before Steve was there.

Then Albert gave Curie money for her to buy her own prizes for herself and Elia at the toy store. Once there, she made it a point to buy everyone a present, because, in her words, “it wouldn’t be fair” if only Julie and Steve got gifts.

In recent days, as she gets tired and frustrated, she runs to the landing on the stairs to the basement and sits there to be by herself and cry for a while. Albert often sits with her and holds her until she calms down. It is a learning time for her as she learns to adjust to learning boundaries and dealing with her emotions. The reality is that she needs to get more sleep, but she doesn’t want to miss the fun.

She loves running “super-fast” and asks you to watch her. One of their favorite past times is when Curie and Elia “run around the kitchen” which entails running through the kitchen, through the dining room, and back around to the kitchen. They take off their socks to make sure they don’t slip and run pell mell through the house.

She is experimenting with mock surprise recently as well. She loves to cock her head and open her eyes and mouth wide and say “bah?” As if surprised for the first time at something. She will also say things like “what? I like” this or that. We are learning to do things other than watch TV and buy toys and have gone so far as to buy Plasticine clay to make our own figures. We made a family with a silicone clay mold, and she loved it. We made a little frog and worm after and Elia appropriated them and took them to school in plastic eggs. Since then we have made our own chocolates in the molds and made figures two more times, making them to look like superheroes.

Curie loves superheroes and loved to watch the Metroman parts of Megamind. She has also been watching the Incredibles and loves Mr. Incredible and Violet. When we went to sign her up for her martial arts class for after school, she watched the ongoing martial arts class in rapture.

In the last few days, she has wanted to spend time with Albert and Erin at different times, and has wanted to garden as one of the play dates. She remembers the times with Albert when he used to stay up with her to watch things, and when we were watching Annie with Elia, Curie spoke up to say that she used to spend time watching it with Albert.

Curie has started changing her tastes, re-engaged in water play, found new things smelly and gross, liked new foods, and stopped liking others. Grape flavored fluoride is okay now, and mint is not. She likes her noodles with the sauce now, but no longer likes green beans. She loves mashed potatoes and gravy from KFC and will drink the gravy, but does not like butter. She knows that she shouldn’t eat sugar, but loves that we give her sugarless treats.

Life is challenging and meant to be, and while having kids makes the stakes higher, they also give us reason to exist and persevere. As Curie, and Elia, grow, the interactions become more complex as they develop their personalities and identities. It is a challenge to understand that they must grow out of us, and a fleeting, aching, parental caring that they still love you unconditionally. It is almost not enough to to use the word “love” to talk about our kids, and at the same time the word “love” is impossibly big, know what we mean?