Category: Elia

Elia February 2015. The wide-eyed wonder of a 14 month old – curiosity, imitation, hero-worship, pride and jealousy. Elia is almost walking  now. She took a few steps in a fountain in Cancun (we were all in the fountain treating it like a baby pool), took some more in the living room.for Albert and with Julie, but Erin has not seen it, so it actually hasn’t happened yet. So though Elia has not decided to walk yet – each girl in her own time, she has learned to climb up the big Ikea step stools and stand up against a counter or a bed. Our favorite right now is how she is learning through copying; at the bathroom counter, went through Erin’s routine and wiped her face with a washcloth and brushed (or at least tried to) her hair with a brush – it was more like whacking her head, but it was really cute.

When she gives you a hug (she gives the best hugs, little arms around your neck) she will pat you on the back like we did when we were burping her. If you give her a paper towel she will wipe her face. In fact, Albert woke up one morning to find Elia slobberly kissing his face, wiping it with a a paper towel, then wiping her own face, all a couple times in a row. Even more recently she has started using a fork to imitate eating with it and has successfully fed herself with it. We will have to substitute a child-friendly/plastic fork for her, hm, and also probably substitute some age appropriate food instead of Albert’s dinner (though she loves the curry noodles).

Everything she learns that is new she is enormously proud of. She can now initiate “high 5” and all of us need to do it with her. When Curie was little we did “high 5,” bump, and beep with beep meaning you touch index fingers. Elia does not know how to bump but she does love the beep. In looking it up we don’t talk about beep or bump with Curie until she is two. Anyway she is very proud of her achievements and will precociously look at you for verification that you have seen it whether it is drinking out of a cup or straw, eating with a fork, climbing up her high chair, climbing up her little couch that Bernard and Suephy gave her, or climbing down the big couch in the living room. She will also do things without the need for verification that make you feel that she can be quite independent too. The other day she climbed up into the Ikea chair again and just sat in it watching TV – before falling off said chair trying to get down. She also loves the Magna Doodle and practices writing on it on her own.

She is an unsteady toddler trying new things, and not all things are copying; she will put her snotty nose on ours and rub her face back and forth just because it feels good. And if you rub back it starts a positive feedback loop where you are both saying “aaaa” louder and louder that means you pretty much have baby snot on your face – but feel good doing it. Almost certainly, this is the best way to catch a cold from your daughter. She loves to get her back scratched and will arch her back and laugh when you do it. If she could purr, she probably would.

Her relationship with Curie evolves. She is still in full hero-worship mode with Curie, doing what she does, coping what she does, wanting whatever Curie has, but other things are happening. She gets jealous now if Mommy is holding Curie and gives a mad face. She will go to hug Curie on occasion, try to throw a ball when Curie throws one to her. So Curie’s relationship with Elia is also evolving; she tries to play with her, playing catch with the ball, feeding her, tickling her when they wake up – “good morning, Little-one.” The nicest thing recently though, was when Curie held Elia’s hands and with Curie walking backward, helped Elia walk up and down the hall of our hotel in Cancun.

And finally, during a warm day in February, after we had held Curie’s hands to do “123, jump,” Albert was helping Elia walk in a field holding one hand and Curie ran up and held the other hand and wanted to do “123, jump” for Elia; wanting to make her sister happy. Sure there are times where Curie says “I don’t like Elia!” Or “Stop it Elia! I don’t like that!” Or “Go away Elia!” But you can see it, Curie loves Elia, Elia loves Curie, and they are building the bits that will make them friends for the rest of their lives.

After the first year of collages with Curie we switched to the bigger six photo format while clandestinely still taking a picture a day. After Elia’s first year we do the same, and because we were writing a separate blog for her we will continue to do so, but now scheduled for the 15th of a month instead of the 19th, so the “January” blog for Elia will actually be from the middle of December to the middle of January.

Interestingly, we have picked four pictures where she is not smiling which is weird, because Elia is smiling all the time and usually because she is particularly proud of something she can do, whether it is putting things in cups, using her front teeth to eat apples,  or tearing off bits of food with her hands to feed herself. She still doesn’t walk yet, but can get down from the couch by herself, stands when she forgets she is holding something, and (we need to get a downstairs gate now) climbs up the stairs when you are not looking, especially when she is supposed to be downstairs with Albert while Erin is getting Curie to bed. She knows where Erin is and goes to find her.

Elia has turned much into a Mama’s girl recently and has started to get jealous of Curie if Erin is holding Curie. When she was sick (she was sick last, we all caught the flu in January) she needed to be held by Erin all the time – literally – if Erin put her down next to her she would cry. When she does this she will prostrate herself on the ground from a sitting position bent forward with her hand in front of her on the ground.

Albert and Elia have a game where they have a yelling conversation. We have noted that Elia likes to yell “aaaaaa” into a cup, more recently Albert will yell “aaaaa!” randomly and Elia will respond “aaaaaa!,” to which Albert will yell “aaaaaa!” and Elia… well you get the picture. They will often do this nose to nose and shake their heads doing it. She is wont to babble now with words only she understands for things we don’t know. She can say “Mumma,” or “Duhduh,” and still says Jie sounds for older sister in Chinese.

So Elia is, in a word, adorable right now.  Sure, we are biased, but that is a parent’s prerogative isn’t it? Elia has Albert’s sense of humor and will insert herself between any pair of us when we are watching TV or in bed. She has this big grin when she sees you and tracks you when you walk away. If you shake your head, she will too. She still hates driving in the dark, but can be bribed by a cracker or cookie to not cry these days.

When we are overwhelmed by work and parenting we have to remember: there is nothing like a child’s welcoming smile when they see you after a long day. There is nothing like their laughter when you rub you head on their bellies. And there is nothing like a sleeping child on your chest in the wee hours of the night to soothe the soul and fill the void.

 

Elia Turns One. Elia has not decided to walk yet, but on December 9th, Albert witnessed Elia standing by herself (rather he stood her up and she didn’t fall). December 10th is the official day, because – Erin says it didn’t count if she didn’t see it. Elia stands in spite of herself is probably a better description. she can balance when you put her in a standing position, but sits down to crawl immediately after when she is interested in something else.

Elia has five teeth, three teeth for most of the month, two top one bottom, and on her birthday two more breaking through one on top and one on the bottom. She will have the same little gap Curie does. With Curie, teeth began coming in, but with Elia, her second tooth was actually bloody (which Albert has always wondered why they weren’t) but the others have been without incident, we think her first tooth on the bottom cut the gum letting the second tooth come in. Yes a little explicit, so here is the cute thing,  Curie likes to brush them, infants have a little training brush you put on your finger, and Curie likes brushing Elia’s teeth (more than she does brushing her own).

People said that we would take fewer pictures of our second, which obviously became a challenge to Albert. But it is true, there were fewer pictures even at the beginning because there were two children to take care of, not because we cared any less nor that we did not try any harder. The days are consumed with the routine and the stress; being worn out day-to-day is balanced by the excitement of discovery, and the joy of unadulterated love. Someone told Erin recently that the second child is harder than the third or fourth because they become old enough to help at that point – it is hard to imagine. Our friends with two say you can play man-to-man, and that playing zone would be so much harder. In any case, Elia also has a picture every day for the first year, and starting next month (even though we will continue to try to take a picture a day) we will switch to the six picture collage that we have been using for Curie.

This month, as mentioned, we went to California for Thanksgiving, where Albert’s parents saw Elia for the first time, she developed separation anxiety there but was good with Albert’s mom, by the time we went to Massachusetts to visit, Erin’s parents, it was in full bore where Elia needed to have “Muh-muh” or “Dadada” (by the way, not real words yet, just sounds she makes when we are around) instead of others. In Marshfield, Elia became particularly attached to Albert, seeking him out and wanting to be held by him. In Disneyland, Small World was Elia’s favorite ride, she was on her feet holding the bar rocking most of the trip.

Elia likes taking an empty confection can, or cup and say “aaah” into it, probably because it makes such a good vibrating sound. Albert likes to make whatever noise Elia is making (even if it means screaming nose-to-nose in glee at a supermarket), so Albert took the cup and copied her, then gave the cup back. THEN, Elia made her noise for a while and handed the cup back to Albert to play again. She and Albert traded this (at 10 PM mind you) for nine or ten times. Now if you want her to play you just get an empty cup and watch her smile before she begins the game again. She does play the drop-the-thing-so-you-can-pick-it-up game, but not nearly as much as the cup game.

Elia went to holiday parties at both Erin and Albert’s work charming people as she went. She is a good traveler like Curie, and loved the Sky Club lounge because she could wander off in relative safety. She still wants to play with whatever toy Curie is playing with (and she will for years to come) triggering the “no Elia!” response from Curie. Both kids want Mommy when they are tired or frustrated, which makes bed time especially hard for Erin. Like Curie at the same age, she likes to say “lalalalala” put things into containers and take them out again,

Friday was Elia’s birthday and we while we took Curie to school, we took Elia to lunch by herself so that she could have some uninterrupted Mommy and Daddy time. We  gave her her first taste of cake at lunch, which she loved (Curie on her first birthday was unsure so passed her smash cake out to everyone). That evening, we went to a restaurant, opened presents, and had a cake with Julie and Steve; every present became Curie’s new toy (only because it was new) for a while Elia was truly happy to have new toys of her own, nearly beaning us in the head with the giraffe.

Tomorrow we had planned to have a bigger celebration with friends (it is also Albert’s birthday) but it is a little touch and go right now with Erin’s Nana so we are waiting to see how things turn out. It was beautiful seeing Nana hold Elia, when we went up earlier; they got to spend some time together and it was heart felt seeing them span the generations. In times like this, holding your children close and understanding that aging is balanced by new life is some consolation: “baby therapy” we call it, but it is a little more, it is the understanding that we are part of a bigger continuum and there is solace in that. We have sat awake many a night watching our children sleep, sometimes in the glow of late night television soothing the infant, or whichever one is fussier, the warmth of holding them reminds us of the miracles they are and the importance of being grateful for what we have.

We are praying for you Nana.

 

 

Elia turns 11 months. Let’s tell a secret; when you have your first child, you are indeed full of wonder and joy, fear and anxiety, and yes, with the second, you have some experience and are a little less, shall we say – present. The demands of two children does mean you have less time to spend with the second – but this is not the secret… At age 11 months, poised to be a year, so quickly that you cannot believe it has happened, you spend an hour with your daughter all alone without your spouse and the almost-not-a-baby-anymore melts your heart.

With one child, there is just the one to love (pets, extended family, friends, and even the spouse take a second seat), with the second, you take your eye off while managing your time trying to get everything done. Take the time now, before they are sixteen and forget their unconditional love for you, even if you forget from time to time to appreciate them, find the time to fall in love with your daughter on its most fundamental level all over again. Having been wrapped up in two kids, a job, and a spouse, it is normal to forget, but that makes the time when you remember to do so, so much more special. This entry is written not from the view of a parent in love, but of a parent in love all over again.

Elia’s hair has gotten just long enough to find its personality, a big shock of sometimes curly hair that neatly frames her ears and face. She stands just tall enough to grab a cup full of juice from our Ikea table and dump it on her face trying to drink. She forgets to hold on to something and totters a second before finding the floor with her bottom. She is just awkward enough to miss her mouth feeding herself with scrambled egg – but just coordinated enough to look to see where it has fallen. She is at a delightful awkward age.

She is unbearably cute rediscovering her pacifier, discovering that she can share and pass things to you (only to take them right back), and sleeping soundlessly on your chest. She kneels readily now, is starting to stand and will soon begin to walk a few steps. She is pathetic, as she stands at the bathtub while you shower because she wants to get in too. All of us, especially Curie, beam with pride when Elia climbs up the steps and we breathe in sharply when she stumbles and we catch her. “Little one,” says Curie, “I love her so much (when she isn’t saying “no Elia!).”

(Kids, when you are poring over these blog entries to see which parent loved which child more, the cliche of “I loved them the same”, is not true, some days are more than others, but the total sum of love to each child comes out to about the same, so in that sense, we love you both the same.)

Elia follows awkwardly along the couch to where you are lying on the ground; she wants to pat you the way you pat her when you are telling her you love her. She pats with one hand and an unadulterated and guileless smile. Her finger is in your eye, her thumb is in your nose, her hand is sticky from her mouth, and you can smell the apple she was holding a while ago. She smiles her one bottom tooth with a love that cannot be matched. It is a moment to savor, and it is a chance to fall in love all over again. That, by the way, is the secret.

 

Elia turns 10 months. It has been a big month for Elia. On the 15th, she got her first tooth, that week she said her first words, learned to “high-five,” and let go of both hands and stood for a moment. This month when you play music she sways or claps to keep time. She has always been a good eater and has begun to feed herself. She has branched out to more and more solids and it seems her baby food days were just a matter of weeks.

Early in the month she started to be more intentional about her words. “Dee-dee” when she saw a light, “momoma, or dadada” though not specifically toward us. She is so outgoing and her babbling seemed to be imitations of conversations. At the same time, we taught Curie that little sister was “Mei-mei,” and big sister was “Jie, jie;” and she wanted to know what to call everyone else – more on Curie’s blog.

In any case, we would ask Curie, “where is Mei-mei?” Or Elia, “where is Jie-jie?” So it is our theory that the Chinese names for family members lends itself to baby-talk, because one morning when asking “where is Jie-jie?” She says, “De-de.” But she says a lot of things. Then we repeated it, and she repeated it and looked to Curie. Curie’s first words were “all done!” And Elia’s is “Jie-jie,” big sister. She now says it regularly.

If you remember when Curie was one, her favorite song was “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider (or The Eensy Wincy Spider depending on how you learned it), Elia’s is “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” to which she will always clap, and like Curie, she perks up when she hears it. This is also courtesy of Curie; Elia had already been clapping, and Curie would sing it when Elia clapped. Now when you sing it, Elia claps as a result.

Around the same time we had gotten shaker eggs and miniature maracas from Guitar Center while waiting for dim sum, and found that Elia keeps pretty good time to music. We gave her some clave sticks and she hits those together pretty well too. That and her dancing and swaying makes for a happy baby when you sing to her.

So the second child seems to go so fast; its been almost a year. Albert loves that she sleeps on his chest and on his shoulder each night, Erin remarks how this is her favorite age. Curie keeps trying to play with her little sister, though she does want “no Elia, only Mommy” time more and more. Elia though, has hero worship for Curie, wants to play with what Curie is playing. Wants to stand on what Curie is standing on. She looks up literally to her big sister and you can catch her tracking Curie watching and learning. So it is befitting that her first words are “Jie-jie. A bit of Chinese heritage while letting her big sister know how much she loves her.

Elia turns 9 months. And like that, Elia is no longer a baby. She was an infant yesterday, waving with the closing of the hand one finger at a time. She then started clapping with open hands and keeping time to the beat when you played music. Then we started her on solid foods, green beans, rice, chicken and Cherrios at first, then when the pediatrician said that the guidelines for allergies have changed, she started salmon, and eggs, and everything (her favorite is tamago – sushi egg).

She sits on the high chair at the table, signals when she wants more by hitting the table and drinks water from an open cup. She always is smiling, wants to know what Curie is doing, and is curious about everything. She crawls everywhere, pulls herself up on anything, and has begun cruising. Soon the girls will keep each other company.

At night she is sleeping better, though she falls asleep while nursing or on Albert’s shoulder. Albert takes Elia while Erin helps Curie to sleep, and sometimes for hours Elia sleeps on Albert’s chest. Yesterday Elia got her first balloon, rode the firetruck stroller with Curie, and ate at the sushi choo choo restaurant Wasabi for the first time in a long time.

We just wrote about Curie’s third birthday, and while you aren’t supposed to compare the girls you can see different personalities even at a young age. And though Albert could not handle the pregnancy, having these two girls and watching them grow. laugh, and simply be, makes you want to have another.