April 1, 2025
What can I say?
I hate April Fools Day,
I hate being pranked.
I hate being yanked,
It is my least favorite holiday.
For Halloween you get candy
Birthday gifts? That’s just dandy.
Turkey on Thanksgiving,
Christmas about for-Giving.
April first just makes me angry.
And we have this day because of Chaucer,
Not because of tea in a cup or saucer,
Chauntecleer, a vain cock,
Happened to be tricked by a fox,
And frankly, that is all the origin has to offer.
Non-participation is mine to choose,
Conscientious objection with nothing to lose,
Amidst all the world-hating,
This day is frustrating,
A day where people celebrate by laughing at you.
Cutting funding and hurting schools?
Leaders acting like idiots or like tools?
I hate those who throw crap, you see,
And think they can laugh at me,
I hate those April Fools.
But I suppose I would be remiss
If I didn’t end this poem with a twist,
But the best I can do,
Even this is beaucoup,
That the end of this poem does not rhyme.
I hate April Fools.
The original version’s fifth stanza was not as contemporary:
And all those pranks played around schools?
People acting like idiots or tools?
I hate those who throw crap at me
And all those who laugh at me
I hate those April Fools.